


Is It a Crime to Fall in Love With the Enemy

by ParallelAnnjxx



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Police, Comedy, Dorks in Love, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, M/M, Mafia AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:21:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22398490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParallelAnnjxx/pseuds/ParallelAnnjxx
Summary: Ludwig Beilschmidt is a young police officer who appears to be on a serious case concerning the Mafia. But, his duty becomes quite complicated as a curious Italian get in his way to solve it.
Relationships: Germany/North Italy (Hetalia)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. Lost Case and Personal Affairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! I based this story on one of my artworks since it was giving me ideas. It ’s the first time I write about GerIta and I enjoyed it more than I thought. It was actually great and refreshing to write something different than my other work.
> 
> Be aware that this take place somewhere in between a longer story. In other terms, it’s an important part between Feliciano and Ludwig concerning their feelings. I wanted to write that from there because it’s what I like to write the most. <3
> 
> Hope you will enjoy reading it as well. Ciao!~

"Ludwig." The muffled voice piercing the silence sounded out of reach as if nothing was allowed to perturb Ludwig’s consciousness while he let himself faint of tiredness for overdoing his work. He didn’t remember however the last time nor when he fell asleep like that so carelessly. All he could recall was the dizziness fighting every fibre of his body for a good amount of hours ago. Who knows how many hours have passed since, all he could feel was sickness from the nap and something very tight around his wrists and now that reality has hit him, he slowly realized he couldn’t move freely.

He suddenly stiffened, eyes wide open as the voice called him again, digging straight to his skull like a knife forcing an uneasy shiver to run down his back as the breeze from the open window entered the office. However, it was the other presence with him in the room that caused his heart to skip a beat.

"You shouldn’t sleep at work like that." The voice was clear and warm but the room was nothing but cold from the chilling night. He recognized the familiar voice. He had heard it multiple times lately, even dared visiting his wildest dreams and Ludwig would feel ashamed of such afterward but, he couldn’t admit it to himself regarding the circumstances implied. Not when he was so close to knowing the truth behind the illegal activities occurring in the city.

"Fe… liciano?" He mumbled still half asleep. His eyes fighting to stay open. He lowered them to notice the ropes around his wrists, pulling to break free with a lame attempt to find the room spun around him until the chair comes to a halt, leaving him no choice but to face the familiar face Ludwig has invested far too much time than expected. He gulped at the proximity, feeling rather taken aback and spoke more clearly this time, a little too loud. "What’s going—" He stopped abruptly when his lips met a finger. 

"Not so loud." Feliciano smiled cheerfully until it turned into a funny smirk. "I was hesitant to numb your mouth at first but then I realized we wouldn’t be able to talk and I really don’t want that." He said sounding too happy for the cause. Ludwig, on the other hand, wasn’t in the mood to laugh nor to smile. Not that he usually show these sort of feelings easily anyway. No. What caught him of panic was the papers laying on his desk revealing all the mad work he has spent many days connecting together. Fundamental information regarding the Vargas family hierarchy along with multiple Newspapers of diverse criminal events that occurred over the years. It didn’t take long before Feliciano followed Ludwig’s eyes. Though, he knew it was too late the moment he saw the look in them as he contemplated it. Feliciano wasn't surprised. In fact, it was as if he knew already. The Italian lost his smile slightly, almost appearing sad for a second until he sighed. It was evident considering the way Ludwig found himself stuck to his chair that Feliciano wasn’t going to play around anymore. But even though he knew that he couldn’t help but be at ease around this guy. This strange Italian who couldn’t even tie his damn shoes properly but strangely enough wasn’t lacking expertise with knots when it comes to serious matters. 

"Why are you here?" Ludwig asked strangely calm this time even though he knew the answer. Maybe? Well, he wasn’t so sure after all but he had the impression that it had to do with the investigation he was currently on. What else, if not? He also considered unnecessary to ask Feliciano how he entered the office when the window was still wide open. However, how he succeeded to climb the 3rd floor to find him without being caught was a story he was interested in but decided to keep the question to himself. The German officer couldn’t help but feel impressed by Feliciano’s ability to surprise him when he expected the less from him. He hated admitting that too.

"I came to see you, of course!"

"Why am I tied down?"

"I thought it would be fun!" He responded too gleefully. Ludwig almost choked on his saliva.

"Fun?!" He blurted bewildered by the ridiculousness of the situation. A day at the beach, riding a bike maybe but tying people down to a chair wasn’t in the same category as fun in Ludwig’s vocabulary. He couldn’t, however, judge him too harshly considering the conditions Feliciano has been raised in. Who knows what criminals teach to their children. Not that he could imagine it. He had a rather normal childhood in comparison.

"Ve? What’s wrong?" Feliciano’s expression softened with curiosity as he noticed the German uneasiness. Ludwig blinked until he came back to his senses. He had zoned out openly.

"You’re not supposed to be here!" He finally expressed, fretting.

"I know. But I wanted to see you."

"Couldn’t it wait? Don’t you know what would’ve happened if someone saw you?" Why does he care anyway? Ludwig couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. This was completely obscene. He was a police officer. A very serious one on top of that. He could easily hold Feliciano for his infractions but instead, all he found out about himself was how worried he was for the mafioso which was completely crazy to believe! Him, a man of order and focus. Has he had lost his goddamn mind?! He must have he thought.

"Are you worried for me by chance?" Feliciano’s sudden question totally caught him off guard behind the delighted intonation. Like an echo bouncing back to him as if he had thought out loud all along. Ludwig’s head felt hot, confused but also unable to proceed nor to execute a coherent sentence. He thought he was sick for an instant.

"Of— of course not!" He blurted out way too quickly. It wasn’t convincing enough! Mein Gott! What was getting into him?

"Oh." Feliciano sounded slightly too dejected to Ludwig’s taste. A wave of unaware feelings was flooding into his chest and he didn’t know what to do with these. He thought he would burst into incoherence at this rate. A mixture of hope and surprise, but above them, fear. The fear of the unknown.

"Listen… Felician—"

"Feli." He cut him short. Ludwig blinked, unsure and slightly startled by the sudden interruption. 

"Pardon?"

"You can call me Feli." He specified eventually with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes this time. Feliciano took off his hat and absently started playing with it between his hands. He looked almost shy and sad standing there, shifting on his feet, unsure what to do with himself. He appeared defenceless. Quite too soft for who he claimed to be. He couldn’t believe this guy was bad one bit. It has to be a terrible mistake. Something ached in Ludwig’s stomach. But why? That he couldn’t quite tell. Feliciano was going to drive him crazy.

"Ha… but–– isn’t it a bit too personal? I mean we don’t even know each other that much. We’re not close…" The last words escaped Ludwig’s mouth like a soft mumble. Feliciano heard them still.

"Hmm. Guess you’re right..." The Italian half muttered with a weak smile, clearly unsatisfied by the remark as he looked down at his shoes. And then, he leaned back on the desk across with a pensive expression hanging on his face. He put down his hat onto the hard surface and Ludwig noticed the change in Feliciano’s attitude. Something felt different. It was unlike the Italian to stay quiet like that for that long. He secretly wished he could read him. But Feliciano was one mess of a mystery to Ludwig to comprehend.

"I’m glad you understand." He sighed of relief regardless.

"We should remediate the problem!" Feliciano exclaimed out of sudden, breaking the silence, almost singing it and Ludwig’s heart squeezed in his chest at the sound. At this point, Ludwig realized how thin the ice was under his feet. He was at the verge of sinking into an ocean of problems.

"W—wait! What!? Hold on a sec—!" He cut out nervously as Feliciano started to climb on his thighs in a way that sent a dangerous shiver down his spine. The warmth of the Italian was burning him through his clothes and Ludwig’s mind automatically froze when his eyes locked with his. He felt rather sweaty out of sudden. He gulped unconsciously and Feliciano gave him a large grin in exchange.

"Keep it down. They will hear us." He said teasingly with the index perfectly erected to hush him.

"Then get off me! Or I… or I’ll call for help!" He tried to sound menacing but as soon as the words left his mouth, he wasn’t even convincing himself.

"I know you won’t." Feliciano replied, fighting a laugh and Ludwig’s breath caught in his lungs. The room narrowed around him until he couldn’t see, feel and smell nothing but Feliciano. 

"Why are you so sure about that?"

"If you really wanted to you would have already done it the minute you saw me. But you didn’t.”

"This is–– This is ridiculous!" He refused with a frown.

"I told you it would be fun. Isn’t it exciting?" The Italian hooted with a grin, clapping his hands together in excitement. Ludwig, bewildered by the reaction, was at a loss for words. Something frightened him to the core as he stared at Feliciano smiling for him so freely. He was slowly understanding how dangerous the situation was getting at and the thought alone was warning him. He had to do something before it gets worse! He thought. Or else… 

"Feliciano!--"

"Oh Per favor, call me Feli!" He cut him playfully before Ludwig could add anything else and he leaned in as he took the advantage to position himself more comfortably on the german’s laps, face to face. The chair squeaked under the additional weight. The proximity was killing Ludwig as he was desperately trying to get free from the ropes. Or maybe he wasn’t trying hard enough…

"What are you doing?!" His voice cracked slightly, but he was trying to sound angry with the best he could afford.

"I don’t really know but… You make me feel all strange inside, Ludwig." Feliciano half-whispered, suddenly appearing strangely captivated by the police uniform under his nose as he started brushing his fingertips against the material. Ludwig noticed Feliciano biting his lower lip unconsciously and the delicate touch of the other man was sending electricity wherever he touched.

"Hey! This is— please don’t cling to me like that… And get off!"

"Ve? But Why?"

The question took him off guard for what felt like the million times that night. Ludwig couldn’t find a proper answer for Feliciano who was looking at him straight in the eyes with some kind of apprehension. Almost asking something specific from him, begging with a soft stare he couldn’t ignore. Ludwig felt his muscles loosening from the tension. He closed his eyes tightly and searched for the last strand of sense left in his mind.

"Can’t you see I’m in service?" He sighed grumpily but with a glimpse of softness despite it all. He could feel his emotions suffocating him under the pressure as they wanted to burst to respond to the Italian. Ludwig was lost. His mind was spinning. Feliciano was making him question a lot of things. Things he wasn’t aware of were on the play. Or... maybe he was simply running away from the reality.

"Ve? But you were snoring so damn loud when I arrived."

"No, I wasn’t!!!..." He snapped with embarrassment as his eyes flew open of shame. Ludwig could feel his face burning. "…was I?" He asked quite shyly and Feliciano burst a laugh. But not too loud, of course.

"You’re funny!"

"Don’t mock me!"

"I like you."

Ludwig’s heart skipped a beat at the way Feliciano expressed the sudden confession. His breathing became unsteady as his blue eyes searched for golden ones.

"…can you repeat that?" He said, almost breathlessly, Unsure and rather uncomfortable. But regardless, Ludwig felt happy to hear it and that was the last thing he wanted to acknowledge.

"Can I touch you…?"

"HUH!?" The German officer blurted in shock and there goes all his composure. Although the room was filled with fresh air, Ludwig had the impression the temperature risen by ten. He didn’t realize he stopped breathing until Feliciano spoke again.

"Don’t you feel the same, Ludwig?" The Italian asked quietly, rather intimately as he delicately started tracing patterns with his finger across Ludwig’s button jacket. Feliciano wasn’t looking at him but he had used an undertone the officer couldn’t help but notice and the latter’s mind was starting to blur beneath the contact. 

"I— no! I mean, I don’t know what you’re talking about! I don’t understand you most of the time. You always say the strangest things! You’re an odd specimen..."

"Is that a bad thing?" Feliciano asked, a hint of worry hidden there as he trailed his eyes up to Ludwig’s.

"N— No…" He stuttered and he sighed deeply to himself. "But sometimes I have the impression that we’re living on two different planets and it bugs the hell out of me." He admitted and silence fell in the room.

"Is that so?"

"…yes."

Both of them became quiet and stayed like that for a moment. They could feel their chests rise and fall by their proximity until there was no other sound existing but their slow breathing. Neither of them dared to speak or move, fearing to ruin the moment. Their shared warmth became comforting in a way and Ludwig couldn’t come to look at Feliciano meanwhile all the Italian could do was peeking at him in secret. As the seconds ticked away, his gaze got lost on the documents lying on Ludwig’s work desk. Seeing his last name written black on white sent a nauseous feeling to his guts. Feliciano knew about Ludwig. He knew the German was working on a special case, digging to find out crucial information behind his family business. Although he discovered this without Ludwig noticing, he blindly chose to ignore the consequences that might cause in the future. Why you may ask? Well, Feliciano’s heart was surely defying all logic. But… suddenly, after a moment of reflexion in this silent room, he felt terribly bad as he became really conscious of his acts. He felt selfish… disgusted with himself, for instance.

What was he even doing?... he thought.

"It’s quite the case, isn’t it?" He finally spoke, his eyes still laying on the papers above. Ludwig looked up curiously and stared at Feliciano who appeared mournful before him. Then, he followed his eyes on the documents in turn, finally understanding.

"I–– didn’t mean it like that." He retorted.

"No… you’re right. You’re a good person, Luddy. I can’t say the same for me—"

"You’re wrong!" Ludwig cut out, surprising himself as the words escaped his mouth before he could think of it, which left Feliciano speechless. His golden eyes were sparkling once again… but it was different than all the other times Ludwig has seen them before. Were they always that big? He thought.

"Oh?" 

"… You’re… different from them." Ludwig expanded, unknowing where all that came from. It seems that he wasn’t controlling anything anymore. He felt completely detached from his own mind. His head was a mess inside out. All he could feel at this moment was his heart beating loud against his ribs cage and he thought he would burst under the warm pressure within.

"Wow..." The Italian whispered, sounding a little too surprised and Ludwig started panicking as he felt self-aware. Has he had been too blunt? He was being way too careless! What if he had read it wrong? He thought.

"Ho! Ah— forget I said anything! I don’t know what I was thinking… pardon—"

The time stopped, for a little while, when all Ludwig could feel was Feliciano arms around his neck as he embraced him so tightly. The shape of Feliciano’s curves marrying his as if he was meant to fit there. At least, that’s how it felt to Ludwig. However, it didn’t take long before reason caught him back from his dreamy state just like a red alert warning.

This is bad…

"Ve! Sorry... I had the sudden urge to hug you." Feliciano explained, backing off from the hug quite shyly with pinky cheeks and Ludwig had the impression he was looking at a completely different person. It was the first time Feliciano appeared so innocently nervous. shying away from something like that wasn’t usual in his language. As far as he knew, this guy was a flirt. Well, at least, that’s what he thought. But now, he wasn’t so sure. Ludwig could see another face of Feliciano he was unfamiliar with and curiosity tickled him.

"W—we shouldn’t do that! Don’t ever do that again!" Ludwig said anyway, rather embarrassed and still startled by the sudden contact. Deep down, he wanted Feliciano against him once more but it was for the better. He lowered his head just enough to hide his eyes behind his police cap, trying his best to maintain his heartbeat to drop to a rather normal tempo. It was a total failure.

"I’m not good when it comes to following rules. In fact, all I’m good at is playing with fire. And of course, I don’t mean it literally." Feliciano started with a weak laugh and Ludwig couldn’t help but look up at the sound. "I hate fire. It’s too dangerous and I always burn myself when I try to light up matches. Big brother once scolded me because I set his favourite jacket on fire and I ended up hanging by the feet but not for too long though. He never says it but he can’t stay mad at me. And It was an accident. Anyway! What I’m trying to say is… I shouldn’t be here with you. Grandpa would be furious if he knew. And Lovino would probably kill me. I’m disgracing so many rules at once. I feel like I’m not reliable enough to fit anywhere. I don’t even know where I belong anymore. I’m at a complete loss." As Feliciano finished his blabbing, Ludwig couldn’t help but feel concerned by the look of sorrow within the Italian’s expression. His heart ached.

"Felicia–– Feli, look at me!" Feliciano’s breath caught in his chest as his eyes widened at his surname. Ludwig noticed the Italian’s reaction and had to admit how it felt right on his tongue. However, he couldn’t help the blood rising in his cheeks. "You belong wherever your happiness lies. And that, no one else but you can understand where it is. You have to figure that out by yourself."

The smaller man nodded slightly in understanding. His eyes were slightly teary Ludwig noticed. 

"Did you find yours, Ludwig?" He asked him with a soft voice and the lump in his throat could be heard through his voice. Ludwig wanted to reach a hand to comfort Feliciano but was unfortunately still tied down. He couldn’t bear it!

"I… don’t know anymore." He admitted frankly, looking away reflexively.

"Ve? So we’re the same!"

"I guess so…"

"I’m glad."

"There’s nothing to be glad about."

"On the contrary! I feel like we are sharing something. We’re making progress. Can’t you see? We’re getting closer! Isn’t that fantastic?"

Ludwig stared at Feliciano in amazement. He couldn’t understand how this man was thinking, nor how unpredictable he was compared to him but there was something about Feliciano that could bring out a sparkle within the German he didn’t know could even exist. He slowly wanted to feel used to this feeling. How was this guy even doing?

"Ha–– well…" He started, unsure of what to add. "Say…"

"Hm?"

"Do you think you could untie me? You tighten the ropes so tight at this rate I won’t be able to feel my hands anymore."

"Oh! But… I kinda like it."

"Wie bitte?!" Ludwig almost chocked. 

"You’re usually worked up easily and tonight I think it’s the first time I see you as relaxed around me. It makes me happy."

"The ropes have nothing to do with this, silly!!"

"Ve? Really?"

"Yeah… hm. I’m just…" he stopped suddenly as he realized what he was going to admit. He was getting way too careless! There’s no way he could say this! "No. forgets it, it’s nothing."

"Nooooo… I want to hear it now!" Feliciano whined as he started jumping with impatience on Ludwig’s laps. This sent the German a dangerous shiver through his groin. He shook off his thoughts quickly, gritted his teeth and was relieved when the Italian stopped. He didn’t seem to have noticed anything. Gott, it was getting hard to stay focused here!!

"If I tell you will you free me?" He offered helplessly, almost growling with impatience.

"But you have to promise me you won’t get all worked up once I do."

"I won’t. I promise."

"Though… I would have loved experiencing some things with you like this. What a shame."

"H––HUH?" This time Ludwig really chocked on his saliva and he felt hot all over again. What on earth was this guy!? A roller coaster?! Gott!

"If only we were closer you and I." He said as he got off the German officer slowly and carefully. Ludwig felt a big loss. "Well, Too bad!" He added with a large grin and Ludwig turned a brighter red.

"Stop saying such things. It’s embarrassing!" He quietly growled with a dry throat. 

"Hm? You’re not being honest don’t you?" Feliciano asked, turning his head over his shoulder to peek at Ludwig with a funny smile. 

"Can we go back to the real issue here?" He blurted, trying to avoid the subject and he looked away. 

"We have many issues on hands, Luddy. But I don’t feel like fixing them all right now. I would rather forget about the world with you for a moment."

"Ugh. Whatever you want but please, remove the ropes first. I beg you!"

"Alright." Feliciano giggled, removing a sharp knife from under his pant leg and stepped over all so innocently. Ludwig felt uncomfortable seeing him leaned in to cut the ropes. 

"Who the hell learns to tie people before tying their shoes? You’re sure something else…" The German curiously highlighted with a frown as one of his hand got free from the painful itching. 

"Well, I have you now!" He said while undoing the opposite side and Ludwig automatically rubbed his wrists to relieve the soreness once he was finally free.

"This isn’t the solution. And you’re missing the whole point—!"

The sound of someone trying to get in the room accompanied by three knocks resonated through Ludwig’s small office and he suddenly had the impression he passed out as he jumped with fright on his chair. His whole body tensed and his mind blanked within a second.

"Ludwig? Are you in there?" The voice asking from the other side was whom of his brother who also appeared to be in service for the night. "Why is it locked?" The other officer half muttered, thinking out loud. 

Oh no. Gilbert!

No, no, NO! Why now?!!

"Quick! Under the desk!" Ludwig ordered Feliciano with the lowest voice he could manage.

"Huh? But––"

"No buts! Do as I say!! You’re not in a position to argue!" He retorted, irritated. Feliciano stiffened slightly under his scary stare and Ludwig gave him some space to allow him to crawl under the desk.

"Alright, alright! But please stop pushing me—WOAH!"

"Be quiet!!" He almost pleaded him, but it rather sounded like an order and he rushed over the door, wishing Feliciano could accomplish that task for at least a few minutes.

"Ludwig? Is everything alright?" Gilbert’s voice became clearer as Ludwig stood in front of the door. He closed his eyes, bearing himself for what was coming before he cracked the door open.

"What is it, brudder? Is something wrong?"

"I should be the one asking. Why did you lock your door? —And why are you breathing like that?"

"Y– you startled me. I fell asleep and I–"

"You fell asleep? What?! This isn’t like you… you should take care of yourself better, West. I know you’re obstinate but don’t overdo it. Geez." The older officer suggested with concern. 

"You’re right…" Ludwig sighed, obviously tired as he rubbed his eyes and Gilbert didn’t need any more proof than this.

"It’s me or it’s chilling in there?" He suddenly pointed out and Ludwig’s eyes flew open.

"Oh! That. I– I opened the window that’s all."

"In mid-November? You’ll catch a cold. Better close that."

"I will. Is there anything else you wanted?"

"Oh yeah! I forgot. I wanted to know if you wanted me to grab something for you. I’m starving and–– " Gilbert’s eyes get lost past Ludwig’s shoulder and they widened so much he thought Feliciano was standing right behind him. "Woah! Lud! Your papers!!" But then, the fear dissipated. Well, just for a bit. The blow of the wind has sent the documents flying across the room and Gilbert pushed the door open to rush in to grab a few. Ludwig’s anxiety reached a new level as he realized how close his brother stood from where Feliciano was hidden.

"It–– it’s fine. I’ll take care of it. You can go ahead now." He quickly exclaimed and Gilbert’s expression changed drastically.

"Are you sure everything is alright? You look––"

"Tired? Yes. I know."

"Nervous…" He corrected in a strange controlled tone and a frown Ludwig couldn’t ignore. He knew his brother knows him better than anyone else and it was rather dangerous to lie to him.

"N–no. I’m fine don’t worry." He responded and Gilbert turned on his heels toward the window, putting down the papers he had managed to pick up onto the window’s frame to free his hands.

"If you say so…" He trailed off suspiciously, finally closing the window.

"Y–yeah I’m just a little over the place but nothing to be worried about. Everything is perfectly fiIIINEE––!" Ludwig panicked as he noticed Feliciano’s hat on his work desk in plain sight. In a moment of pure fear, the younger officer grabbed the hat without thinking twice and shoved it under the desk, throwing it with such an uncontrolled force, right in Feliciano’s face. The Italian escaped a small sound of surprise despite his good attempt to stay quiet and he clapped his hands against his mouth, automatically regretting it. But it was too late. Ludwig’s stomach twitched in knots.

"ACHOO!" He faked a loud sneeze to direct all his brother’s attention to him. Ludwig couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe he was actually hiding a criminal in his office willingly, lying to Gilbert like this on top of that. He never lied to him before! It was absurd!! How have things turned out to this!? "You might be right. I must be sick after all."

Gilbert blinked a few times, brows perfectly rose for an instant until his expression turned to complete confusion. "You act strange..." he trailed off.

"Am I?"

The older officer frowned, analyzing his brother as if he had gone completely crazy. Of course, the question was a diversion, a defence mechanism but the situation was making Ludwig understood how bad of a liar he was. He gulped nervously without realizing it and suddenly he felt vertiginous on his feet.

"…You should probably sit a little. You are rather white, West. Gotta grab something to help you out. That’s how awesome of a brother I am." Gilbert grinned but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. It seemed like he was trying to dissimulate his worries behind his smile or something.

"Thanks. I appreciate this." Ludwig deeply sighed as he let himself fall back on his chair, exhausted. Despite the fact Ludwig was lying about his cold, he was really starting to feel as such. He felt sick to his stomach, dizzy and even dared to dream of his bed. But Ludwig was not the type of letting his weaknesses win over him and he was too proud to admit that he needed rest. But tonight… tonight was different and he didn’t know what to do. He hasn’t been prepared for this chaotic situation. He wished he could drink a cold beer to help him with all this mess. He needed a break. Seriously!

"Oh! Also. We have new information from Alfred. We will talk about it when I come back." Gilbert said, turning around on his trail as he headed to the door.

Suddenly, a firm grasp grabbed Ludwig’s leg. The touch startled him to the point he hit his knee against the wooden desk. "Ow!" He muttered the pain, quickly rubbing the area with a hiss and he noticed with an eye crack open how suspiciously Gilbert was looking at him from the other side of the room. He didn’t say anything. However, by the way, his eyes narrowed, Ludwig had the impression his brother could read him right away and this sent an unpleasant chill running down his body. The situation took a sudden twist once Gilbert grinned like his usual self, erasing all trace of tension from his face. Ludwig almost gasped for air and he didn’t even notice he was holding his breath the whole time.

"Ok… I’m leaving now. See ya in a few!" He greeted with a wave and closed the door, leaving nothing but silence fell over until Ludwig’s consciousness took him back to reality.

"Ja. See ya…" Ludwig said more for himself than anything. His voice couldn’t reach his brother anymore. He was gone. "Don’t move yet. Not until I say so." He warned Feliciano who was still grabbing his leg. After one minute or so, he spoke again, pushing back his chair. "You almost ruined everything! You—" He stopped abruptly at the sight of Feliciano’s broken expression. 

"Alfred is… a traitor…" He whispered, eyes wide, staring at nothing in particular. "Alfred…"

"Scheiss…" Ludwig grumbled, passing a hand over his face. How worse could this situation go? He thought.

"Is Alfred an undercover agent?" Feliciano asked, his voice shaking slightly. His eyes trailed slowly up until he finally managed to catch Ludwig’s. He didn’t like what he saw but he didn’t need more confirmation. He understood. "I have to go!" He crawled from under the desk desperately, in an attempt to escape this mess. He couldn’t breathe.

"Hey!! Hold on––" Ludwig attempted to stop Feliciano but the Italian dodged him just in time.

"Don’t try to stop me! or… or else I will—" Feliciano stopped, unsure of what he really wanted to say to stop Ludwig. "slice your throat open!" He blurted, sounding nothing threatening. It was obvious that he wasn’t thinking it one bit. He took his knife anyway and pointed it slowly in direction of Ludwig and he stepped back rather uncertain until his back met the wall. He felt trapped as Ludwig was slowly stepping over nonetheless.

"Listen… I know you’re angry but you have to stay here until—"

"Back off!!"

"… Feli."

Ludwig’s low and gentle voice pronouncing his name helped to smooth his state of mind for a bit. But Feliciano started to feel angry with himself. He was weak, he thought. He couldn’t even come to fight the urge the cry his balls out. His eyes felt humid and he clenched his jaw with a slight bow of the head. His mind was a mess. He was distraught.

"I– I’m… serious!" He almost sobbed. 

"Please, listen. If you get out right now my brother will see you. And we don’t want to complicate things more than they are."

"Complicating things? For who, uh? Tell me, Ludwig. Who’s at disadvantage here?" He half-shouted and then he remembered where he was. The Italian realized that he should keep it down, not wanting to create more problems with the police. "You must be happy. Isn’t that what you wanted from the start? To destroy my family…" he added more calmly. But it was too late. His tears started slowly to spill.

"Woh! Hold on here!" Ludwig retorted against the accusation. 

"I’m the fool here. What was I expecting?... I lowered my guard like an idiot. I’m so stupid." Feliciano’s whole body benched over slightly, losing all his straightness against the wall. He felt defeated and guilty of everything that was happening. He couldn’t come to realize how far he has betrayed his family. First, he took interest in a police officer and not only that but he had divulged information to Alfred without knowing it. Alfred who pretended to be his friend all along. He had enough! "I’m outta here–"

"Wait!"

"Please, Don’t!" He complained against Ludwig’s resilience to keep him in his office. He faced the window, his eyes fixed on the view of the city shining so vividly when all he could feel was the German’s stare on his back tying him down in turn. He couldn't move... Strangely.

"If you think you’re the only one of us getting in trouble you’re blind…" Ludwig’s voice was getting closer as he talked. "Do you really think I’m not risking it all by being with you like this? I even lied to my brother! My blood! And this is ridiculous considering that I’m a police officer!! I risk my career here. I can’t be friends with the enemy—!" He stopped talking abruptly when he realized his mistake. "W—wait that’s not what I—"

"I get it." Feliciano mumbled, sounding tired and rather sad.

"Ugh! No! It’s not what I wanted to sa—"

"There’s always a part of the truth behind each outburst. And you’re sadly right. We can’t get along… you and I." The Italian said, breathing a weak laugh that died instantly.

"Feli…" Ludwig half pleaded with traces of regrets disguising his tone. 

Feliciano heard his steps on the floor and could tell how close they were from each other even with his eyes closed. It was hard to not feel Ludwig’s presence behind him, almost burning him. "I feel like crying…" he admitted softly.

Feliciano gasped when he felt the German’s strong arms enfolding his small body so tenderly. It was the first time Ludwig initialized a contact with him. He normally complains every time Feliciano would try to get touchy. The Italian’s heartbeat accelerated at the unusual feeling in the spit of his stomach. Warm tears running down his cheeks.

"I think it’s fair to say that we’re both in trouble." The low voice of Ludwig into his ear sent a shiver down his spine. There was something very comforting to be held like this, almost magic. Feliciano even wondered why he was so tense before. All his life he has been the one giving but receiving was something he wasn’t used to. It felt so good.

"... I thought you told me that we shouldn’t hug ever again…" He pointed out with a flustered smile. Ludwig couldn’t see it, but could hear it still.

"I was not thinking it."

"You seem to say a lot of things you don’t think, officer Beilschmidt."

"It’s because you shake my thoughts up."

"Cosa?..." Feliciano turned in the embrace so he could see the clear blue of the officer’s eyes diving in his. He was quite surprised when he noticed the look in them. Ludwig was looking at him with such gentle eyes, he thought he would melt instantly.

"You— drive me crazy." He admitted quietly, reaching to wipe his tears.

"Oh."

"You’re… so… distracting."

"Ah… Yeah… I tend to annoy people. I speak too much and—"

"No… I don’t mean it like that." Ludwig softy cut him short and he closed his eyes as if he was fighting with himself. He deeply sighed through his nose until his stare fell back on the Italian before him. Feliciano blinked, unsure where he was heading with this.

"Oh— Then…"

"I have solved multiple cases in my life but you… you’re a whole new kind of mystery." He explained, hoping this time his message could convey what he really wanted to say.

"Am I?... I’m a rather translucent person if you ask me."

"You confuse me…"

"I’m sorry…"

"It’s not a complaint! I—" He said a bit annoyed by the Italian’s obliviousness. He quickly coughed, not really intending to get worked up for that. Maybe he wasn’t straightforward enough. "I find you… intriguing. I kind of want to solve… you."

"… and… how would you proceed… exactly?"

"Uh?"

"… solving me, I mean."

"That’s the thing… I don’t know where to start." Ludwig laughed slightly embarrassed and Feliciano’s heart melted at the rare music. "… but I would probably try to prove something first. And then… if my theory is proven right, I could spend a lifetime figuring you out until I get to the bottom."

"I’m—do you really think that?..."

"Well… only if you allow me to …of course." Ludwig snickered for a bit, blushing. But then, his eyes caught Feliciano’s and he felt unsure all of sudden. The other man was staring at him, his mouth slightly agape. "Ah— Sorry! Maybe I’m reading the signals wrong but— forget it if it’s the ca—"

"N—no… I’m just surprised…" Feliciano quickly stopped him as he waved his hands to stop Ludwig to over-analyze what he was really thinking of these words. And he couldn’t hide the smile widening on his lips. The Italian felt all fuzzy inside.

"Feliciano…"

"Y—yes?..." Feliciano leveled his eyes and suddenly, he forgot how to look away. Ludwig was looking at him so… intensely he could almost see desire shining in them. The Italian gulped with anticipation, his breath catching in his throat. They were getting so close as Ludwig slowly started leaning in.

"I just… need to make sure of something… first. Can I?" He whispered, his voice a bit raspy by nervousness. It resonated deep and low against Feliciano’s lips. They were an inch apart, almost touching and the Italian’s mind couldn’t think straight. He could feel it in his bones, to his knees, his knife got lost on the ground as he couldn’t hold it anymore in his palm. He heard it hit the floor but, he was too focused on the vibrant blue eyes devouring slowly him whole to pay attention or to care at all.

"Ve?... Si… y—yes…" He didn’t know how to speak anymore. Ludwig was stealing all his capacity to sound coherent. He couldn’t even remember where he was, who he was. That was rather troubling but also exciting in a way he couldn’t verbalize. He felt completely numb, the scent of Ludwig messing up with his head, their proximity killing him.

And then, what Feliciano was desperately waiting for come to reality and he felt airborne the minute their lips touched. The kiss was slow and filled with such tenderness, the Italian melted like butter on a skillet. He had never felt such gentleness in his life. Not like that, he thought. There was nothing comparable to how he felt at this moment. He could drop dead now and he would be the happiest he has never been. Not even Feliciano’s favourite dishes could compete with the joy he witnessed and that was probably the biggest realization he never acknowledged as weird as it may sound. It was a big deal in Feliciano’s way of thinking. the taste of Ludwig was unexpectedly replacing everything he ever experienced before. All he wanted was another helping halfway through. He knew what he wanted.

Ludwig’s hand found its way up to Feliciano’s jaw, sliding behind the crook of his neck to press him closer into the kiss. The German was holding him in place against the wall and Feliciano’s heart burned with passion. He felt unsteady and shaky on his feet. He wanted Ludwig closer. His body screamed for more contact. His clothes started to itch Feliciano and this was terribly getting in the way according to him as he was strongly considering undressing.

"how… was that?" Ludwig asked with a breathless voice and Feliciano almost whined as he pulled apart.

"Please don’t stop…" The Italian urged without giving Ludwig any chance to think twice as he stole him another kiss. They were back at it, hungrier than before despite the German attempt to stay in control over the situation. Ludwig’s mind was quickly filled with lustful thoughts and they were scaring him as he realized how Feliciano was reacting under his touch, so vulnerably. He didn’t know how to stop the urgent desire to pin down the Italian against the wall in ways the couldn’t help but flourish the more the kiss heated up. Feliciano licked his lower lip, asking for more as Ludwig suddenly heard him escape a small moan filled with need. At this moment, Ludwig’s last common sense left his brain and he picked the Italian up against the wall before he could realize it. Feliciano wrapped his legs around Ludwig’s middle and the both of them kissed until they needed air.

"That’s— we should stop before my brother come—" The officer stopped in his sentence when his eyes locked with the Italian’s, all looking so desirable and wide open. Feliciano’s breathing sounded in need, his eyes darkened and Ludwig was once more worried about what he could do to him if they refused to stop mutually. "Please. Don’t look at me like that."

"Ve? But… I feel strange, Luddy. I think I want you."

Ludwig unconsciously gulped at the words. How this guy could be cute and lewd at the same time was beyond the German’s capacity to stay stoic. He couldn’t deny his strong desires anymore. Ludwig was attracted to him and there was no doubt about it. Never he had felt an attraction as strong as this before. However, it was not only that but the fact that he finally realized his romantic feelings toward Feliciano and that was the big deal. What a troublesome situation that was. Had they even have the right to coexist? He thought.

"Gott… it’s so unprofessional of me." He muttered, lowering Feliciano delicately until his shoes hit the floor. They stayed still pretty close, however.

”I wouldn’t say that. You do it so well."

"Not that!! The fact we’re in my office, idiot!"

"Oh."

Feliciano giggled, mostly amused by his mistake but also for the simple reason Ludwig and him were getting closer. He felt lightweight and happy by the situation.

"…Was it that good?" Ludwig asked rather shyly with a twist of curiosity nonetheless.

"More than that… it was magic!~"

At that, Ludwig stared at Feliciano rather flustered and dumbfounded by the honest response. He couldn’t believe what was going on. What he always thought he knew was now revealed as incomplete or untrue. Feliciano was a puzzle in his eyes and the more the pieces were getting together the more he liked the picture. 

"Me who thought you were a womanizer... I’ve been fooled." He snickered softly, almost inaudible and Feliciano blinked at that. His lips slowly turned upward in understanding.

"Oh! but I like girls! Bellas are the beauties of the world!"

"Oh. Then…"

"But I like you more!" Feliciano admitted joyfully with a hug and Ludwig’s heart squeezed in surprise. This guy had such power over the control of his body. That was rather scary in a sense when even he couldn’t help it.

"…you… you do?!" He asked curiously, almost shocked. So he likes girls after all. Then… what could he find in him? He was the complete opposite!! He thought. And he was a GUY!

"MmHm!"

"Why?!" Ludwig half blurted, confused. Feliciano blinked at the sudden question. He leaned back slightly from the embrace and tilted his head. "I mean… why me?" The german coughed, a bit embarrassed. The Italian simply smiled even though Ludwig wasn’t looking at him anymore.

"Stupid question, officer." He almost laughed and he poked him on the forehead. "Have you seen yourself in a mirror?"

"So it’s only physical then?"

"Of course not! But we don’t have the time for that right now. Please kiss me more!" Feliciano stretched his arms to invite Ludwig and he pursued his lips into a kiss.

"No! At this rate, I’ll lose my job for good." The officer stepped back a little, forcing a safe distance between them and the Italian’s lips turned downward. 

"But—"

"No buts!!"

"It’s unfair!" He pouted, crossing his arms. Ludwig looked at him and had to admit that he was adorable nonetheless. Feliciano sometimes appeared childish within his reactions and he couldn’t help but smile slightly to this. He thought at first as him as troublesome but the more they behaved, the more he wanted to hold him close. This guy was not comparable to anyone he knew.

"Anyways it’s not like I really attended to do anything funny. I just wanted to see if I was really into you.” He cleared his throat and turned his head away from the Italian.

"And are you?" 

"Isn’t it obvious?"

"Hmmm… maybe."

"Maybe?!" Ludwig choked, searching for golden eyes to make sense of this. 

"Kiss me again and we’ll see." Feliciano winked and pointed his lips to indicate the way. His smile turned into a smirk and he couldn’t help the grin taking place. Ludwig sighed but deep down his heart was only melting once more. This guy... 

“You’re really persistent… aren’t you?”

“Yes!” He grinned without hiding his joy. Feliciano was like an open book sometimes, his emotions written on his face. "Not my fault if you’re good at it.”

“Stop praising me. Gott… it’s embarrassing." 

Feliciano smiled at the big red tomato as he looked away and analyzed the situation. 

“If you do, I’ll come back to you when you won’t be in service and before you know it, I’ll be there. But I’m not leaving before I got my goodbye kiss.~”

At that, Ludwig breathed in deeply considering the opportunity. Feliciano wanted to see him again. His thoughts ventured to on multiple options offered before him and they were tickling his interest more than he would admit. 

“You’re helpless.." He breathe, wearing a smile he couldn’t hide. He allowed himself to stop fighting his needs for one more moment. He stepped toward Feliciano and when they were close enough, he looked down to dive his stare into the gold sucking him in. Feliciano became slightly shy once again as he was impatiently waiting for the kiss and Ludwig had to admit that he loved him. He decided to stay vulnerable enough to allow all his worries to disappear for an instant, emptying his mind to only focus on the cute Italian pressed against him and he leaned in. Their lips touched and the time stopped around them, leaving nothing but this feeling blooming in their chests like a bouquet of flowers. They felt nothing but sincerity into the kiss and the realization took their breaths away as they leaned back slowly.

"Alright , it’s enough for tonight. We don’t have much time left." 

"Yessir!" Feliciano saluted like a soldier and Ludwig fought a smile. It was time to get serious. He wasted far too much time already. Not that he was complaining about it, in fact he felt happy about the turn of the event. However, it wasn’t the ideal time nor the place for those kind of things and it was playing with his nerves far too much for him to enjoy the mood at it's fullest. Ludwig turned toward his desk and picked up the files left across the floor. His attention shifted when he heard the window opening, inviting the chilling night to invade the room like a intruder. He peeked at Feliciano perched on the edge of the window and his eyes widened.

"Wait! Are you going to jump?!" He asked, sounding a little too uneasy.

"Silly! I won’t jump from this height. I climbed with this." He rectified, removing a long rope equipped with a grapnel from his long jacket’s pocket. Ludwig signed in understanding and Feliciano replaced his hat on his head with a smile. 

It started snowing that night. Small snowflakes slowly falling on the city. It was very early for this time of the year in Italy but there was something beautiful about the scenery as Ludwig watched Feliciano arranging the rope until he was ready to leave.

"B—be careful!" 

"Aw! You’re so caring."

"Stop it…" He muttered, blushing despite himself. 

"Don’t forget to remove it once I’ll be gone." The Italian reminded the officer when he stepped of the window. "Hide the proof of my visit for me. Would you?" He said with a wink.

"Don't worry." He replied and the both of them exchanged a long stare in their shared silence. For some reason it was harder than expected to separate they figured. Feliciano smiled cheerfully, looking forward to their next meeting and with that in mind he found the strength to leave.

"Bene allora, ciao bello!~" He exclaimed and in a blink of an eye, he was gone.

Ludwig stayed still for a moment as he stared at the window, lost in his thoughts. His memory replaying the progression of this extenuating night, still unbelieving what happened within these four walls. He had to admit how empty this place was without Feliciano around. He missed him already and he thought he was being ridiculous.

Meanwhile, outside the police station, Gilbert stepped out of the police car with bags in his hands from the grocery store, humming a heavy metal song when suddenly he saw someone sneaking out of the place quickly. He lowered himself, hiding behind the vehicle and peeked up slowly in the direction he saw the intruder. It didn’t take long before Gilbert recognized who that was and his mouth flew open as he connected the dots with his brother. He perceived something moving out of the corner of his eyes and when he leveled them high enough, he understood. His brother was pulling on a rope from the window and everything was making sense now. His strange attitude, his unusual nervousness, everything...

"Oh, West… what on earth are you doing?!"


	2. All The Roads Lead To Rome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh lord, I was starting to think this chapter would never see the light. It was neverending! I couldn't come to wrap it in the way I wanted because the characters leaded me in a different direction. The chapter itself is basically what I had in mind but it is SO MUCH longer than what I was aiming for. I had to cut it. I think it's the longest chapter I have ever wrote at all. I thought the story would be "ending" here but expect more chapters. I setted it at 3 chapters but I really don't know if I'm gonna extend it longer. It will depends. I will see during the process.
> 
> Anyways! Pheww! I can't believe I'm updating after nearly one year later. I'm so sorry for the wait. It has been a crazy year and I've been pretty busy with many things. I write slowly but I always update in the end. 
> 
> That aside, I'm quite proud with this story. It's so much fun to write Feliciano and Ludwig. Be aware it's rather angstier than the first chapter. 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments! I love reading you!
> 
> xo!!

Ludwig reorganized his documents meticulously on his desk. Being a stickler for order, he could never come to fully relax without tidying up first. He signed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose as he leaned back against the backrest of his rolling chair. His head filled with Chaotic thoughts while he tried to get used to the feeling blooming within his chest. No matter how he looked at it, He couldn’t distinguish the good from the bad anymore. At the end of the day, his attachment to Feliciano was all so true and valid that any objection against what he started associating with happiness could compete with it, creating a blur over his judgment. Ludwig couldn’t imagine how falling in love with someone was a crime. A part of him, however, his logical one, for instance, was warning him to the core and the concerning thoughts couldn’t be totally erased by the idealogy of being allowed to love whoever he wanted in the position he occupied. His pensive state of mind shifted abruptly when the door opened across the room. his worries hid behind a mask leaving nothing but a thin camouflage painted over him.

''It took you long enough. I was about to—'' he trailed off, swallowing the rest of his sentence like a pill. The minute he caught the menacing look his brother threw his way as the door collided against the wall made Ludwig instantly uneasy on his chair. Gilbert didn’t care if the noise would bring up questions among the rest of the staff working during the night shift. He knew they wouldn’t be too invasive about it considering his rank and the fact that it was his little brother. His red bright eyes were invading Ludwig’s through his soul like venom. unable to hold his stare for far too long, he swiped his eyes away. ''What’s wrong?'' the younger German almost choked, his throat so dry.

''You tell me!'' Gilbert almost barked as his concern grew bigger when his eyes fell on Ludwig. He couldn’t help but notice the slightest signs of guilt all over his brother’s face as he analyzed him with a sharper eye.

''W—what do you mean?'' he softly questioned, His nerves on the verge of collapsing like a vulgar chicken bone. Ludwig never felt more under the radar than this. That was something new and unwelcoming. He hated the feeling.

''Ludwig!—'' He started and stopped quickly, peeking over his shoulder to see if someone was actually listening to their conversation. Two cops were glancing over curiously intrigued but none of them said anything. They continued talking like before when Gilbert stared back at them. He decided that perhaps it was wiser to enter Ludwig’s office to continue their conversation in private. ''You’re a terrible liar! Do you really think I’m stupid enough to not notice your strange behavior? I fucking changed your diapers when you were a little baby! I wiped those little buttcheeks of yours! I know you by heart. I knew something smelled fishy with you but I never thought you would do something like this!''

''Gilbert… I don’t know what you’re talking ab—''

''I saw him.'' He cut him and Ludwig’s complexion whitened as the blood dispersed from his face.

''You— who?''

''Oh, quit it, Lud! That Vargas guy. You know the grandson of the fucking mafia boss?! Does it ring a bell to you? I saw him leaving the police station from YOUR window!''

''Scheiss…'' The word was nothing but a whisper on Ludwig’s lips. His eyes became so big, Gilbert could see his pupils shrink from where he stood. Suddenly, he felt sweat on his forehead and nausea perturbing his stomach with a horrible twitch of fear.

"I don’t know the fuck you’re doing but Whatever is going on has to stop now!"

And with that, Ludwig realized there was nowhere to hide. No more naive hope. Nothing to escape to. It was over and hopeless. It was out of reach. His heart ached at his brother’s words. Deep down he knew it was the best thing to do. That believing in such a thing was very unlikely to happen... he…

"I can’t…" he retorted. Ludwig surprised even himself. His eyes were unable to look higher than his fisted hands on his desk. He gasped, almost silently.

"Excuse me?"

"I… can’t…" Ludwig repeated slower and lower but the firmness of his intonation remained. Gilbert was looking at him dumbfounded by his response as if his brother fell on his head or something.

"Do you know where this can leads you?"

"I know…" he muttered almost to himself.

If Ludwig got the opportunity to work on this case in the first place was all thanks to his promotion. It was his big opportunity to show his true potential as a young investigator. He was still learning and surely not as experienced as his brother but Ludwig was devoted and really performant when it comes to working and it wasn’t the qualities nor the requirements that were lacking these past few days but his mind wandering anywhere else near the good route and his heart wasn’t as present as it used to now that Feliciano entered his small boring world. He was conscient that being friendly with a criminal was probably the same as being accused of corruption himself and this situation would probably soil their name if anyone learned about it. All of this was ridiculously getting complicated for the young man to execute a wise decision when love was in the way. Something he didn’t expect to experience one day and certainly not like this.

"West… tell me… what happened Exactly? What is going on?"

"Nothing…"

"Listen, There’s no need to lie to me anymore. This is your brother talking. I need to know. This is extremely important..." Gilbert asked meticulously to win his brother. His voice became quieter as he saw how tense Ludwig appeared before him.

"We—" he started, unsure of what to answer. He finally managed to look up to his brother and perceived worry written in his eyes. Suddenly, Ludwig couldn’t help but tell the truth. He hated lying and there was no use to continue borrowing this route. "I think I might be in love."

"You…" Gilbert almost lost his balance on his feet. He let him fell onto the couch nearby and sat down speechless. He knew something was going on but never he would have bet that it was this kind of problem. Ludwig never had been into a real relationship. The most Gilbert could recall was that one time his brother fell head over the heels with a girl during elementary school. Or then this other time in high school. The last one ended heartbreakingly for his brother. And as far as he remembered, Ludwig always felt distant with love since then. He never heard the reasons behind that change of heart but at the time Gilbert realized that maybe it was better to not stick his nose into affairs that weren’t his. To hear him bringing up love after so long was very unexpected and, on top of this, there was the element of surprise that came with the fact Ludwig bluntly came out to him. "Oh, West, In all the people in this world. You fell for the most doomed scenario possible…" He managed to admit. His tone softer, more delicate than before, but deep down worries were boiling him to the core within his big brother’s heart, like fear in disguise.

"It wasn’t intentional. If I still had the power to burn the bridge between us, I would have burned it. I tried to... It’s just… all the paths I tried to escape to lead me back to him. I’m not quite sure why but we constantly run into each other. All of this is so strange... All the options I tend to take drive me back to him."

"…Sounds like a crappy proverb." Gilbert almost laughed uncomfortably. Not that he found it particularly funny but it reminded him of that old Rome proverb and all of this suddenly sounded a little bit cheesy to his ears.

"Gilbert… what should I do?" Ludwig asked, his eyes desperate for a magical answer. Hope was screaming in them and somehow Gilbert realized then that it was not a misunderstanding nor an ordinary feeling. Ludwig was serious about this.

"I think you should go home. I think you should take a shower and go straight to bed. You’re not in a position to work right now. Let’s pretend you’re sick. Let the rest to me. Tomorrow I want to see you fresh and well-rested. We will talk about all of it another time."

"I would normally object to you sending me home like that but I’ll take it. Danke…"

"I guess the medicine I bought you won’t be for any use." Gilbert laughed softly while lowering to pick up one of the grocery bags.

"I’m sorry for causing you trouble."

"That’s odd. Hearing you say that sounds out of character."

"It does…" Ludwig half-whispered, a weak chuckle escaping his lips. Gilbert analyzed him while he looked away, a frown of pure concern displaying on his face.

"Take it home and— oh! I almost forgot. I have something else for you." Gilbert handed the bag to Ludwig and grinned to his ears. The younger man took it gently away from his hand, unsure of what to expect. "I could tell how you were digging for a beer so I bought you one. Though… now that I think of it, I don’t think that it was a good idea to buy alcohol with medicine. Oh well! You’re not sick anyway. To hell!"

"How did you know…?!"

"I can read you."

"That’s next-level scary… Are you a mind reader or what?!"

"Nein… I’m just your handsome bro. But I might have psychic powers who knows. Enough! Get out of here and rest well. You need it. You worked hard these past few days. You deserve it."

"Ja… thanks again." Ludwig got up from his seat, slowly heading to the door, not forgetting to dress up adequately for the night as he removed the coat off the hook.

"Oh. And West…"

"Hmm?"

"Avoid getting more in trouble, would you?"

Something was troubling in the way Gilbert pronounced his ask. A mixture of seriousness underneath a layer of uncertainty. Ludwig caught a wave of demand behind the words. A warning. Or maybe it was only strongly suggested in his intonation. But one thing was sure and it was that Ludwig couldn’t tell him yes straight away if he was honest with himself.

"Good night, Gilbert." he answered instead, managing a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. The older officer noticed the lack of certainty and how he dodged the topic but decided to let it go for the night.

"Night…" He replied and watched his brother getting out of the room, leaving him hanging there lost in thoughts. "Talk about a big fat problem…" he sighed to himself, a glance over the documents on Ludwig’s desk. "I have a bad feeling about this…"

-x-

The city was asleep, the silence was almost absolute as Ludwig entered his loft. His three dogs instantly ran over to greet their master with such excitement that he had to hush them quickly before they wake up the whole neighbourhood. If this wasn’t the best welcome you could possibly wish for daily, he didn’t know what else could compete with the love of a dog.

Ludwig made his way to the kitchen, dropped off his bag delicately on the countertop and sat loosely on a stool nearby with his coat still on. He rubbed his face in his gloved hands, trying to erase as best as he could the tiredness incrusted there and yawned. He unwrapped the thin scarf from around his neck, removed his police cap to pass a hand through his tidy hair till it fell loose on his forehead. All he wanted was to drop dead in his bed and skip his bedtime routine but Ludwig was a man of structure and it was against his virtue to act lazily even when he couldn’t even keep his eyes open.

When he was done, clean and ready to sleep, his mind switched off as his feet trailed off to the bed automatically. He didn’t notice when he fell asleep nor when his body even hit the mattress, but Ludwig dreamt that night. His emotions honest, boiling of happiness as Feliciano appeared for the fifth time this week. It was the first time however Ludwig wasn’t bothered by his feelings. Now that he had acknowledged them, the boundaries that once deprived him of his liberty weren’t hindering anymore his actions within his dream. His heart was wild and Everything felt concrete as his body remembered how it tasted like to kiss those soft lips. It felt so real that he could almost feel Feliciano’s warmth and touch as he pressed the Italian closer to him.

A cold breeze brushed past Ludwig’s face in the vast flower fields. The warm sunny day dissipated around them. the clouds covered the blue sky till it started snowing a darker shade. Everything turned grey and lifeless as the season changed at an abnormal pace. Their cold breaths dancing together as they backed off slowly from the blissful kiss and suddenly Ludwig’s stomach dropped as he opened his eyes to see Feliciano was no longer there. What he saw was not so colourful and pleasant anymore. In fact, he realized that he stood in the middle of a battlefield. He was alone in the pure white corrupted by grey ashes of a violent fire burning not too far away. The sound of the cracking fire burning was the only thing remaining. But suddenly, in the distance, Someone approached, causing the snow to crack under the weight of each step. The muffled noise disturbed the unbearable calm of the place. As the silhouette became more defined, Ludwig first mistook it for Feliciano but didn’t take long before he recognized the man standing there to cause his breath to catch in his throat under the death glare of the Italian’s elder brother.

Lovino seemed likely ready to fight, his submachine gun in one hand and not far behind him, if you looked better in the cold foggy air, millions of threatening glares all directed at him. Ludwig’s heartbeat accelerated as he realized how defenceless and wide open he was standing there all alone without any proper way to defend himself. He had to think of something quickly, he thought. Or else…

He closed his eyes tightly and tried to find any solution to escape this troublesome situation alive. There was a sound of a ruffle echoing loudly in his ears buzzing like crazy, ringing and Ludwig panicked as he felt suddenly attacked by behind. His eyes flew open as he woke up in a panic, still caught between two worlds, he grabbed the gun from under his pillow and turned around with the reflexes of a soldier, catching with him the source of the sudden contact. In the obscure room, he pointed his weapon against the forehead’s opponent without any second thoughts as he pinned them down the bed with firm force.

"Please don’t shout!! This is me!!"

"Fe…" He started, still caught with the troublesome images of his bad dream. Ludwig vaguely could tell the reality apart yet that he decided to turn on the lamp on the nightstand as he recognized the voice in the pitch black. When the yellow tint of the lightbulb was painted over Feliciano’s face, he couldn’t believe that he was not dreaming this time. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" He asked, yelling with shock without realizing and he removed quickly the gun from the Italian’s forehead with a shaky hand. Something sank in him.

"I told you I would come to see you, remember?" He said with a soft and shaky voice hidden behind a weak grin. Feliciano’s volume couldn’t get any louder with that lump in his throat. His eyes were slightly tearing up of surprise even though he tried very hard to dissimulate it.

"Idiot! I nearly killed you for that impudence!!" He growled with frustration. He almost committed the unredeemable and his heart broke at the thought. Ludwig put the weapon on the nightstand delicately, his mind still wandering to unbearable scenarios of what could have happened if he had fired. Feliciano noticed the absence of presence in Ludwig’s eyes and he couldn’t unseen how troubled the officer appeared above him. He felt guilty once again. All he wanted by coming here was to surprise Ludwig, well… mostly for it, but never like this…

"I’m sorry..." He half murmured and he swallowed his regret like a pill despite the lack of saliva.

"Is that a habit of yours to burst through people’s windows? Can you act normal sometimes? And good grief! Close them when you come in!!" Ludwig rushed to close the window, almost slamming it, his palms still lingering on the thin glass as he bowed his head slightly with a loud sigh until his forehead pressed the cold surface. His legs were still shaking on his feet as his mind was still fighting against the stressful experience. Slowly, he could breathe normally again and his collected appearance returned gradually to him.

"It wouldn’t be subtle if I entered by the front door." Feliciano replied, his voice clearer than before. The bed cracked under his weight as he sat up.

"Well, I’m not sure your method is very subtle either." Ludwig retorqued while pushing himself off the window.

"Your dogs would have barked! I couldn’t just knock at your door."

"You’re right but—" He stopped in mid-sentence, very confused by the statement. "How do you know I have dogs?... and… how come you know where I live…?" He asked as he turned around with a very defined frown, highly sounding suspicious and curious, shocked above it all. Feliciano’s eyes opened wider under the German’s stare as he realized what he has just said and the reaction only confirmed what Ludwig suspected.

"Ahh— Y–you see… That’s because I saw you walking them once…" He replied without even crossing the percent blue eyes. To Ludwig, Feliciano seemed telling the truth here, his traits were very talkative and honest, however, it was evident how he omitted some details.

"Were you spying on me?"

"No!! I just happened to pass by…" Feliciano shook quickly his hands before him to prove his innocence. He appeared extremely submissive and ready to surrender at any minute. Something was weird with this conversation. It couldn’t be coincidental. But, Ludwig wasn’t in a mood to investigate any further on the topic at the moment. He decided to let it slide for now.

"Anyways. I’m working today. What time is it?" He looked at the clock and read 4 past ten. At least he slept a little longer than expected he thought. He felt quite relieved by that. This past week Ludwig had been horribly deprived of sleep for different reasons which were mostly due to overworking but one of them, and not the least, if not the most bothersome, materialized on his bed that night and he couldn’t help but feel happy about this new presence within these four walls and he felt the guilt bubbling in his guts for feeling that way.

"I couldn’t wait to see you again…" The Italian admitted, sounding a little bit shy but honest despite the bluntness and Ludwig’s stomach felt warm and fuzzy.

"You’re a very impatient person, aren’t you?" He sighed.

"Patience isn’t an ally of mine I’m afraid." Lowering his eyes, Feliciano’s cheekbones appeared slightly red and Ludwig couldn’t stop his heart melting at the adorableness of the picture. His soft features caressed by the warm hues emitted by the only lamp brightening the dim bedroom. Under some angles, Feliciano seemed like a painting straight from Renaissance and Ludwig would often catch himself analyzing the beauty in this, memorizing every detail as much as he could before the subject suspects anything.

"Well, either way, you should go home." He said despite himself. It was time to be responsible. It was for the best…

"Can I sleep over? Please, Luddy!!"

The sudden demand surprised him. Ludwig almost choked his spit. "N— Nein!!" he retorted without hesitating to hide his embarrassment.

"Eh? Why?"

"How do you expect me to sleep with you around? I need to rest for sake! My schedule is crazy lately, are you aware of that?"

"But I’ll make myself so small you won’t notice I’m here!"

"There’s no way I won’t notice you!"

"Please! I don’t want to go home!!" Feliciano begged, his voice on the edge of breaking. Sadness could be heard in his intonation as he suddenly grabbed Ludwig’s pyjama shirt like a child. The despair behind Feliciano’s reaction was a prior concern to the German. He hated seeing him miserable like this, especially when he didn’t know the reason.

"…Has something happened?" Ludwig asked delicately. Feliciano didn’t respond right away. Something about his body language seemed to hide something bigger than the picture, an expression of sudden uneasiness at the question. His eyes lowered to the floor, sorrow hanging there, teary eyes present enough to get noticed at the very corners.

"I don’t wanna talk about it… " He managed to say. His voice so soft it almost cracked as he closed his eyes. Ludwig didn’t dare to push any further for details. He stood still, unsure if he should comfort him or not and finally realized how weak he actually was around this bothersome guy. Feliciano was winning... again.

"Fine. You can stay for this time. Just don’t make it a habit."

"Grazie!!" Feliciano smiled as cheerfully as he could match his satisfaction and wiped quickly his tears to put a smile on his face instead.

The sight didn’t get unnoticed by Ludwig and the German couldn’t stop the blood sucking in his cheeks when he was around Feliciano... So close… again. He sighed through his nose and headed to the bed to replace the sheets in an attempt to dissimulate his happiness. "Gott… If Gilbert knew… he would kill me— WH—WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!?!" Ludwig blustered across the room.

"I prepare to go to bed?!" Feliciano replied startled by the sudden question halfway through his undressing. He had casually unbelted his trousers leaving his boxers visible. Ludwig didn’t know what to do with himself and started stuttering, his eyes peeked at the material marrying Feliciano’s butt and he had to look away immediately.

"Don— Don’t undress in the middle of my room!!" He almost implored. The Italian was testing his limits and Ludwig didn’t know how to act with the number of opportunities offered to him on a plate. He was rather reserved when it comes to externalizing his desires and this guy was toying with his self-control. He wasn’t sure if Feliciano was just innocent or if he was doing it on purpose but it raised a few concerns in his mind. It would have been easy to take advantage of the situation if Ludwig had bad intentions and he started wondering if Feliciano was this easygoing with anyone else. Was it common for him? "W—Wait!" He quickly searched for some clothing in the middle drawer of his dresser and Feliciano blinked in confusion.

"Oh, no need! I sleep naked." he explained.

"WHAT?! There’s no way you sleep naked at my place! You can borrow me some clothes." Ludwig finally found something adequate and long enough to hide all sources of temptation away from his eyes. He was a gentleman!! He was a gentleman?... "Here! Take this!" he said throwing it for Feliciano to catch it.

"Woah! Ludwig’s big shirt." He cheerfully said, sticking his nose into the soft material as if it was made of flowers or something. "It smells like sweets! I like sweets! Now I’m hungry. Do you cook?"

"I— I do. Sometimes…"

"You bake sweets? I wouldn’t have guessed. But your place indeed smells yummy."

Embarrassed, Ludwig quickly changed the subject. He hated being the center of attention especially when his cooking skills were about to get exposed. Not a lot of people except his family knows his secret talent for baking and he liked it that way for some reason. "I will show you the guest room—"

"Can I sleep with you?" Interrupting him, Feliciano pealed off some additional layers as if he was alone in the room, his clothes falling to the floor without any care until all was left covering some skin were his underpants. Ludwig didn’t dare to peek this time but his heart was racing all the same.

"Excuse me?!" He coughed, back facing the Italian.

"Your bed is so big, Luddy! Don’t you feel lonely all by yourself?"

"No!! I’ve always been alone. I’m used to it."

"You mean…" In the way Feliciano trailed off curiously the word, Ludwig realized how he had messed up with that one. He was being too careless! He thought. His face flushed red.

"Mein Gott! Stop asking questions!" he growled of embarrassment and turned around in an attempt to shut him out but all he found was Feliciano floating in his long shirt. His heart did something weird and he forgot what he was about to do.

"But I want to be with you!" He whined.

"Nein!"

"Don’t you like me?" he asked way too sad for Ludwig’s comfort and the German felt his whole body weakening once again at Feliciano’s pained expression.

"I— we discussed that already. I thought the answer was clear…"

"Then why can’t I be with you?"

"GIVE ME A BRAKE!" Ludwig exploded. Unable to think straight, he couldn’t contain his insecurities without bursting out. The outburst sent his dogs on protective mode on the other side of the room. "Ah— sorry… That was uncalled for." He quickly apologized for his rude attitude and ordered something loud enough in german to make the dogs stop barking through the door. They obeyed and silence fell. Ludwig cracked the door open before allowing them to enter and they jumped with excitement on Feliciano as soon as they were presented.

"Woah! Ciao there! Ahaha! they are bellissimo!"

Ludwig had never seen his dogs being this affectionate with a stranger before and it was something unexpected. considering their good feeling for danger, Ludwig had imagined a different scenario. They normally act distant with people they don’t know and especially alert with bad people. That confirmed what Ludwig’s guts always told him. Feliciano was not a threat. They could sense it too after all… "They seem to like you…very much..." he said, a bit surprised despite his reasoning.

"I Have that effect on animals."

"I can see it…" He trailed off, brows slightly higher.

"Alright! If I can’t sleep in your bed then I’ll sleep with your dogs in the guest room!" pointed Feliciano as he got up with a grin on his face. Ludwig blinked and shook his head. 

“they are not allowed to sleep in beds.”

“What kind of master are you?!” The Italian voiced with exaggeration as if it was the most horrible thing in the world.

“They are well disciplined and too spoiled already.”

“you’re not affectionate enough, Luddy.”

“What?”

“You’re too cold, sir.” He added while crossing his arms. 

“That isn’t true.” Ludwig denied instantly, sounding maybe a bit too much on the defensive. That is absurd! He loved his dogs more than anything in the world but some things need some limits. Otherwise, it would get out of hand. Dogs aren’t humans. They don’t need king beds and extra pillows! Right?

Feliciano took steps forward and teasingly poked Ludwig on the chest three times as he deconstructed his sentence emphasizing the words “Yes. You. Are.” And he grinned, a laugh on the tip of his tongue when Ludwig’s back met the commode as he backed off clumsily. He always finds it funny when Ludwig’s cold facade cracks and unknowingly shows vulnerable sides. He felt privileged to be able to see it with his own eyes. Ludwig simply averted to look at him, embarrassed.

“Whatever! They won’t sleep in a bed. They are disciplined as such. end of the story.”

“You’re no fun.” He complained with a small pout and lowered down to the dog's level to pet them three, letting them lick him all they wanted.

“Aren’t you sleepy? Did you sleep at all?” Ludwig asked as he caught the Italian yawling full mouth.

Feliciano peeked up at the question and blinked. “I’m… well... being at your place isn’t really tiring me much.” He explained with a weak laugh.

“You… look tired, though...» he pointed out, now noticing tiredness haunting Feliciano’s eyes and the redness colouring his eyeballs as he paid more attention to what seemed puffiness. “Have you cried earlier?”

“don’t mind me...” Feliciano sighed quietly, his eyes lost to the floor, a distant expression blurring his vision. He seemed far away. Ludwig’s eyes narrowed uncomfortably as he analyzed him.

“You sure you don’t wanna talk?”

“Si…” he half-whispered and Ludwig simply nodded in understanding even though he knew something was off but respected Feliciano’s choice to stay silent.

Ludwig walked toward the bed in silence, ready to sleep for a few hours more. He was still tired and his nightmare didn’t help to eliminate the accumulated fatigue of the week entirely. Feliciano’s presence was making it hard for him to consider even falling asleep and it wasn’t that it was bothering him but that it was perhaps slightly too intriguing to have the Italian existing in his personal habitat. He was used to solitude after all.

“You’re so buff!” Feliciano almost purred the words as he embraced the taller man from behind without warning, pressing him close, stuffing his face between the shoulder blades and squeezed him like a stuffed animal. “… and warm!” Ludwig stiffed at the contact, Feliciano’s voice vibrating through his body, his warmth mixing his. He gulped unconsciously, taken aback.

“I— I thought you said I was cold.” He said, not knowing how to react, a pinch of nervousness invading him.

“Yeah. I did. But once we’re that close you’re really warm, Luddy.”

“If you say so…” he murmured, unsure, nervous. Ludwig didn’t dare to move. Feliciano’s words tickling him inside so gently.

“Oh. Your heartbeat…”

“Time to sleep now!” The German turned around in the embrace, breaking the intimacy as he detached Feliciano away from him, hands resting on his shoulders, holding him in place to keep a certain distance between them. He felt shy suddenly as if he was made of glass and see-through. Blood stuck in his cheeks as Feliciano blinked at him confused but also vaguely saddened.

“Are you afraid of me?” He asked uneasily which provoked a state of tumult in Ludwig’s mind. The latter searched for some senses behind those goldish amber eyes reflecting nothing but concern and he didn’t know where that came from all of sudden.

“What is this nonsense? Why would I?”

“Your heart started racing…” he clarified, almost mumbling.

“It’s n—! Don’t worry about that.” Taking his hands off Feliciano, Ludwig coughed, averting his eyes once again. He couldn’t keep up with Feliciano’s reasoning. How can someone so open with their gestures be so oblivious of the impact caused by their own behaviour? How could he still be so clueless?

“But you’re afraid of something, right?”

“Why are you saying that?”

“Because even though you keep saying the opposite… your body reacts differently every time I touch you...”

“That’s…” Ludwig sighed through his nose, closing his eyes, almost snickering at the unexpected turn of discussion. How has he have comes to that conclusion? he thought. That was ridiculous.

“It’s ok, Luddy. I’m scared too.” Feliciano had approached without he realized, catching him by surprise. He took a step back by reflex but this didn’t stop the Italian to continue. “I’m scared of a lot of things. Probably more than you do.” He added, his hands grabbing his own shirt as he restrained himself to get too touchy.

“What’s the point of this conversation?” Ludwig asked on the verge of annoyance.

“Are you scared of being touched?” Feliciano bluntly questioned, taking a step closer and Ludwig moved back once more.

“NO!” he exclaimed loudly and almost lost his balance as his calfs met the side of the bed, unable to distance himself any further from Feliciano.” Absolutely not!” he denied. “Now go to sleep! There’s everything you need in the back room.” He said, bringing a hand to his face to rub his eyes, his heart beating so fast. Feliciano would be the death of him.

“Can I have a goodnight kiss?”

“Gott…”

Ludwig leaned in delicately, his face flustered as he aimed to kiss him. He could see Feliciano’s eyes apprehending the contact as he approached his lips, his hands holding him in place. Their breath mixing with each other until they could practically only breathe through their nose. And there was that explosion within their chests, creating a blissful feeling as they kissed. The time stopped, losing track of everything. Feliciano pressed himself closer, uniting their bodies together. To Ludwig’s big surprise, he quickly realized that the Italian was wearing nothing underneath his “pyjama”. He shivered at the contact, breaking the kiss with a sharp inhalation.

“Are— are you ok?” Feliciano asked concerned.

Ludwig didn’t respond at first, almost frozen him in place, unable to proceed normally. He would have lie to himself if he didn’t admit he was attracted to Feliciano in ways he shouldn’t. He felt very happy around him but it was still all so new he barely knew how to behave. He couldn’t compete with this outgoing specimen putting him at a loss constantly. He felt so far behind. So… inexperienced. He hated this innocent feeling consuming him. “you…” he started. “I give up. Do as you please.” He sighed, letting himself fell on the bed with a hand through his hair.

“I can sleep in your bed?” Feliciano asked curiously, a glimpse of surprise at the change of heart.

“…Ja. Whatever.”

“Veee!~ Also… May I ask you why you sleep with a gun under your pillow? It’s quite dangerous.” He asked while crawling childishly to the opposite side of the bed, happily humming.

“I have all the reasons to. you never know what could happen. I’m digging into risky affairs. The risk is real.” He replied, leaning back against the headboard. Feliciano’s expression twisted with a certain tension at this explanation, a bit of pain and sadness invading him as he thought of his family, of his brother… and…

“If you’re that worried you should lock your windows, Ludwig.” He proffered.

“You’re right. It was a big mistake. If someone like you can attack me this easily, I can’t imagine what would have happened to me if someone bad intentioned had breakthrough instead.”

“I wasn’t attacking you!” Feliciano automatically corrected.

“Of course. It’s just the idea.” He reassured with a weak but soft smile twitching at the corner of his lips.

“What does someone like me means?” 

At the question, Ludwig rearranged himself on the bed and he coughed uncomfortably. He shouldn’t have phrased it that way. He had thought out loud and didn’t pay attention to the words he used. Feliciano was not someone threatening nor very dangerous and he wouldn’t be a bother to him. That’s what Ludwig first thought when he said that. However, taking a better look at the scheme, he was somehow in the wrong along the line. Feliciano came with a whole different package of troubles and Ludwig was diving in it headfirst unable to stop swimming deeper. He may not be dangerous on the surface, but he came with danger hidden underneath and that put Ludwig in a state of mind completely different.

“Ah— I mean… it could have been someone bad. A—and you’re not like that...”

“Grazie...”

“Why are you thanking me?” 

“Oh. Sorry… It’s just… It’s good for once to feel trusted by someone. It makes me happy. I usually scare people once they know where I come from.” Smiling softly to himself, Feliciano leaned back in turn and sat beside Ludwig, a satisfied expression on his face. “Though, I doubt it’s because of me.” He added with a quick snort. The blond peeked at him sideways, staring at the cute Italian by his side and his stomach warmed up as he started to feel comfier in his company and just like that, it was as if he had read his mind. He levelled up his eyes to the ceiling and closed them, his head resting against the headboard, his mind lost somewhere else. 

“Say, Luddy…” Feliciano interrupted his thoughts after a moment.

“Hmm?—!!” Ludwig cracked an eye open and they flew wide as he saw the Italian on his fours, their face so close Ludwig’s face burned instantly.

“Can you keep your guard down?” He half breathed almost sounding like a plead as he dived into clear blue eyes and leaned in slowly toward the German’s ear, his hot breath caressing the skin like a hot summer breeze. Ludwig shivered, his mind slightly spinning.

“You—” he started but failed to continue as Feliciano pressed a kiss against his lob. Ludwig couldn’t think.

“Per favore…” he whispered into his ear, almost begging. The Italian language not helping the case. Everything about it sounded passionate, like a sensual murmur. Who on earth could resist that?!? He thought. “I can make you feel good, you know?...” he added before kissing his jawline tenderly. “Very good…” he continued with a trail of kisses down his neck. Ludwig’s armor melted like gelato under the sun of Toscane during a heatwave.

“It’s… not—” he tried to speak but his eyes ventured to the side where Feliciano’s shirt revealed too much skin as the material had leveled up to his hips, leaving the curves of his round buttcheeks in the open. He probably didn’t realize that himself since it was making no difference for him. For Ludwig, however, it was terribly perturbing his focus. “We shouldn’t…” He said, managing to look the other way.

“It’s ok to break the rules sometimes.”

“Are you really saying that to me!?”

“Do you think it’s a bad thing?” The Italian asked, a hint of hesitation in his voice as he backed off enough to look into his eyes for reassurance. Feliciano’s assurance wasn’t made of iron for sure.

“It’s… Complicated.”

“… But not bad. Right?”

“It’s not… I suppose…” Ludwig breathed, feeling rather hot in his pyjama. Making sense out of this was harder when they were that close he figured. There was no escape…

“Then… is it alright if we do… this?” Feliciano leaned in slowly once again, tilting his head to find a good angle to press a soft kiss to Ludwig’s lips.

“It’s… fine...”

“And what about… this?” Feliciano’s hand started trailing down Ludwig’s abdomen very slowly. His eyes darkened by lust as he interlocked them with blue. His face was flustered and vulnerable. It didn’t take two for Ludwig to read the mood.

“Wait!” he stopped Feliciano and grabbed his wrist in the wild trail.

“Ve?” 

“Listen… I really want…” he started and coughed unsure how to construct his sentence. It was embarrassing for him. Ludwig used to keep everything inside before this guy appeared in his life. Things were evolving so quickly that It was making him question everything. “Gott… I’m very sorry...” he followed.

“Sorry? Eh? For what?”

“I’m not experienced, alright!? And it makes me super nervous because… You’re so… You’re so…!!”

“So… what?”

“…WUNDERSCHÖN!”

Feliciano blinked at the sudden German dialect loudly expressed at him. Somehow, even without knowing its meaning, he could still understand Ludwig’s bother beyond the barrier language. And he couldn’t help but burst a laugh at the situation. 

“Why are you laughing for?!” Ludwig asked, sounding extremely uncomfortable and mostly annoyed by the reaction. He was being serious here! There was nothing funny. He wanted to disappear so badly.

“Luddy, I’m a virgin too!”

Ludwig’s mind stopped functioning. Feliciano never failed to surprise him with his boldness and easygoing attitude but he had to admit he didn’t see this confession coming at all. He became very curious suddenly and attentive, leaving an inch open at the unexpected. “Impossible…” he whispered.

“What is that supposed to mean? Do you think I’m a Casanova or something? I’m not!” The Italian laughed a bit offended nonetheless.

“But I always see you hanging around many women… I assumed that you were… well…” he trailed off and hoped Feliciano could finish the sentence for him.

“It’s true that I like talking to the Bellas and giving them flowers and see them smile. I like being around them, they are charming. It’s just in my nature I suppose? But… In reality, never I pushed anything further than that with anybody.”

“I can’t believe you…” Ludwig admitted, shaking his head in disbelief. He refused to believe this man was not using his charms to get anything in life. He could easily get any woman he wants. His family was rich and he was pretty easy on the eye. Ludwig was persuaded Feliciano was covering his sexual life to make him feel comfortable. He wasn’t dumb enough to believe such a thing! Was he? Not to mention that never he had seen him flirting with a man before. Not that he knew him for that long but... still… why was he the exception? This question was still rolling on his mind. This guy was full of surprises and Ludwig tried his best to make sense out of it which was pretty hard.

“Ve? But it’s the truth!! I swear!” Feliciano sounded hurts and appeared dejected at the accusatory. He didn’t know how to prove Ludwig his honesty but he hoped to find a way to win his heart. They were not so different deep down and he wanted to prove it at any cost. Feliciano might be a charmer in his veins but he wasn’t a playboy. He was in fact far from it as he never found it necessary to push things further when it comes to dating. Feliciano was a romantic and playing cards to get women in his bed wasn’t what occurred in his mind when he spent some time alone with them. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them but rather that he never felt anything special to let his mind wandering there yet. All these empty feelings and confusion were suddenly replaced with something unexpected when a tall German officer crossed his path one day, holding his attention like no others along necessities he never felt before. There was that magnetism he couldn’t control when they were together. Everything was natural as if they were meant to gravitate around each other even when they were very different in many aspects and Feliciano couldn’t stop coming back to get more.

“But how is that even possible?” Asked Ludwig after a moment and Feliciano blinked at the curious question as his mind popped back to the present. Something flattered him in the way Ludwig emphasized his question. Perhaps it wasn’t the lack of trust but the idea causing this reaction Feliciano eventually realized and he felt relieved.

“How?... Well… It wasn’t feeling right. That’s about it.” He simply said, unsure how to explain it.

“I don’t get it. It was bad then but now it’s totally fine with you?”

“Si! bad is a bit extreme but… Yeah?…”

“But why?!” Ludwig half blurted the question, sounding completely nonplussed. “What’s the difference?”

“Because… you see… you’re special to me.” He admitted. Lowering his eyes, Feliciano smiled to himself tenderly as he realized how right it felt to express it out loud for the very first time.

“oh.” Ludwig paused for a moment at the honest answer and his heart bloomed as he observed Feliciano’s expression becoming softer as his thoughts flourished with love through his eyes. He felt suddenly bad for having spoken so quickly. He had pushed his insecurities on him without thinking. “pardon… It was a bit rude of me to assume things.” He mumbled carefully, regret painting his voice.

“No worry. It’s all good.” The Italian quickly assured, waving his hands before him to attenuate the misunderstanding. When he saw Ludwig wasn’t adding anything to the conversation he leaned in back on his fours and asked with curiosity: “say… What does _Wunderschön_ mean?”

“Ah— it means… Beautiful.” Ludwig almost minced the word and looked away, embarrassed by the way Feliciano expectantly waited for the answer.

“Oh.” Feliciano blinked and replayed the scene in his head with this information in mind and he couldn’t help but burst a laugh once more.

“Are you mocking me?” He groaned, irritated.

“No. It’s just that nobody ever yelled me a compliment before. it’s super funny.” He admitted, still laughing vividly. Ludwig flustered as he looked in bewilderment at Feliciano tearing up with laughter. The sound was bliss to his ears, something he never thought he would hear so purely. He allowed himself to shut his eyes to capture it better. A moment of bewilderment before Ludwig let his guard fully down and Feliciano had already found a way to sneak behind him. Gentle hands sliding around his shoulders, starting to press his thumbs with circular movements. 

This bastard was sly!

“H—hey—?!”

“Moi Dio… You’re so tense, Luddy.”

Ludwig didn’t even sense him approaching once again and it was troubling him at this point. When he thinks he gets it, he surprised him even more. Ludwig understood Feliciano was not the type you could easily get your finger on. There were still so many secrets beneath the shell, Ludwig wondered if perhaps he has involved himself in something that necessitated deeper research. What if he had underestimated him? “Yeah… I guess I am…” he answered unsurely but the Italian’s thumbs massaging him felt so great he instantly felt sluggish in no time. What kind of magic is this? He thought.

“lay down.” 

Ludwig wasn’t sure if he misunderstood the demand for command at first. He wasn’t in the best position to be attentive to details. “pardon?” 

“lie on your stomach and try to relax. I do the best massages in town.” Grinning to his ears, Feliciano was making his fingers dancing in the air and suddenly Ludwig’s suspiciousness dropped at the innocent expression.

“Really?”

“Well, I don’t know but that’s what grandpa tells me all the time. Grandpa Roma’s back hurts a lot and he needs special care so I’m used to giving therapeutic massages and he always knocks out afterward and the whole house can’t sleep because he snores too loud all night long. It’s quite of a problem but I guess I’m not so bad— Wait! You have to take your shirt off first.”

“oh.” Ludwig straightened himself to remove his pyjama shirt with better ease. When Ludwig finally peeked out of the clothing he noticed how intensely Feliciano stared at him and suddenly felt very exposed. The brunette looked so captivated, his eyes burning his skin as if he was made of gold. “What’s the matter?” he questioned and the Italian’s focus immediately set back, an embarrassed expression visible.

“N—nothing!... Make yourself comfortable.” He quickly answered with a horrible laugh.

Ludwig hesitantly nodded with a frown as he observed Feliciano carefully. “o—okay…” he said, laying down. He didn’t know why he accepted the favor so easily but the short sample made him realize how he needed it.

Feliciano placed himself upon him, taking a comfortable position and started massaging the firm muscles. “Is it ok like this?” He asked. The Italian couldn’t help but enjoy the feeling of Ludwig’s bare skin under his palms which was, to his own surprise, softer than what he expected. It was different than doing it for a family member he figured. His senses were fully awake and attentive as his fingers learned every inch, every muscle and knots carefully. His belly was full of warmth and his heart lightly excited at the idea of touching him some more.

“Yeah… hmph!” He muffled into his pillow. Ludwig stiffened under the touch.

“Next time avoid falling asleep in a chair.” Feliciano snickered.

“It wasn’t intentional…”

“I look like a damn noodle compared to you.” He admitted, becoming self-conscious. Feliciano was unconditionally in love with food and he was aware he wasn’t the most active person in the world. he was in fact very lazy in general, so it was quite difficult to stay in shape. He hated exercising. He wasn’t fat nor too slimy but he was far from being muscular and seeing Ludwig’s perfect body was quite like the wake-up call he never knew he needed. The idea of slacking on pasta made him vertiginous, however. No matter how caloric it was, it was Feliciano’s biggest sin.

“You’re great as you are.” The German replied, turning his head so he could speak more clearly.

“It’s a lie.” Feliciano refused to believe as he shook his head in disbelief.

“It’s not.—hmph!” He reassured, stiffening for a second time as Feliciano's fingers found a hurting point between his shoulder blades.

“… You really think that?” He asked softly with a hint of curiosity, feeling a bit more confident this time.

“I do. Besides I can’t imagine you all muscly. That would be odd if you ask me. Not that I ever saw you… you know… without clothes anyway. Not that I’m asking for it! Don’t get me wrong!! Gott— that sounded weird.”

Feliciano blinked at a flushed Ludwig as he could only see the left side of his face for a few seconds before the blond stuffed it back into his pillow and Feliciano couldn’t help but burst a chuckle. “You’re funny.” He admitted. The German was rather cute for someone imposing and composed in normal circumstances and he decided that he wanted to see that kind of face more often. Embarrassed Ludwig was a discovery Feliciano was not ready to let go anytime soon.

“I’m not that kind of guy…”

“I figured… but you know… I just hate wearing clothes when I’m inside. It’s too itchy! I like being naked.” He explained and started to massage the small of Ludwig’s back with his thumbs upwardly.

“I’m not that comfortable.”

“But you’re built like a god!” The Italian expressed a little too loud without realizing he had stopped what he was doing. 

“Uh?...” Ludwig peeked as best as he could over his shoulder at the Italian and frowned at the wide eyes staring back.

“Ah!— I mean… you shouldn’t feel that way. How can someone like you be so little confidence is making no sense.” He coughed and averted his eyes before continuing the massage.

“It has nothing to do with my physic. Hmmm… good spot... Ah.” Ludwig moaned almost purring unconsciously into the pillow and the low vibration of the deep German’s voice went through Feliciano’s insides and the latter couldn’t help but bit his lower lip at the hot sensation dangerously descending downward, his heart registering the sounds.

Oh.

"Right here?” He asked, barely speaking the words out loud. Feliciano felt a little dizzy suddenly. Ludwig’s voice was doing weird things to him.

"Yeah… oh— you’re so good at this. Gott…”

Ludwig felt so relaxed beneath him, instinctively Feliciano repositioned himself, sliding slightly back so he married the German’s butt within the crook between his tummy and his pelvis as he pressed his body closer against his back to leave a tender kiss on the bare skin. Ludwig gasped at the contact, the Italian’s warmth and curves mixing his like two pieces of a puzzle. "Feli?—!!" he was interrupted by an unexpected erected member between his buttocks and suddenly Ludwig wasn’t so relaxed anymore. Feliciano gasped almost instantly as he realized what he was doing without Ludwig’s permission. His eyes flew open of panic, nervousness, and guilt invading his guts spreading like fire. Feliciano backed off instantly as he recognized his mistake, shame possessing him completely, depriving him of oxygen for a few seconds. He couldn’t come to look at Ludwig at all as he got out of the bed backward, his vision so blurry and his head still fighting the urgent desire burning to get unleashed. He stepped away until his back hit the opposite wall, The cold surface provoking the effect of a cold shower.

"So— sorry!!" He gasped, feeling terrible, so small and submissive.

“Hey—"

“I’m going to sleep in the guest room.” He quickly expressed, his eyes still averting the blond’s, and didn’t lose the chance to leave the room to get a better hold of himself.

“Wait!” Ludwig attempted to stop Feliciano but it was too late. The minute his feet touched the floor, all left was silence and a closed door.

-x-

Feliciano crawled into the neatly made-up bed cooled by its intactness and curled up as he sat on the edge boarding the wall. He felt nauseous while his heart thumped loudly in his ears and couldn’t stop the tears forming in his eyes. The sun started to come out partially, filling the sky with soft dark blue hues as Feliciano stared out the window, his thoughts all over the place. He didn’t know what to do. He was lost. He was tired. He felt cold inside and out. The door slightly opening reverberated like a distant sound bouncing to Feliciano. It took him a few seconds to realize the delayed detonation of his heart squeezing within his ribcage as Ludwig’s presence couldn’t be ignored any longer.

“Please don’t mind me. You must think I’m disgusting. Forcing my desires on you like this... I’m sorry.”

Ludwig looked at Feliciano’s back in silence with a feeling of culpability. He felt bad for having planted a seed into the Italian’s mind. He knew that it was part of his fault if Feliciano felt repulsive towards his own desires of proximity and he hated seeing him distancing himself like that when he knew they both were on the same page deep down. He knew how contradicting it sounded coming from him but he couldn’t help loving the way Feliciano was living so freely while he was scared to. Ludwig sighed and rejoined Feliciano on the bed which caused the latter to gasp at the additional weight.

“Luddy?” He faltered with a peek over the shoulder. Feliciano was teary-eyed once again Ludwig noticed and he wanted to press a magic kiss to his eyelids to prevent the faucet to run. But he didn’t.

“You’re far from disgusting.” He clarified softly and Feliciano’s eyes widened in bewilderment.

“Eh?”

“Sorry for being unclear. I think I was more scared of your expectations toward me. I never intended to make you feel bad…” he explained taking Feliciano’s hand in his own. “You just constantly catch me off guard. I can’t think clearly when you’re around. Please, don’t feel ashamed of your desires. I share them. I understand how you feel. I’m not mad at you. So don’t worry...” Looking through amber eyes, Ludwig shallowed to welcome fully what occurred in his mind the minute his eyes felt on the lips he knew tasted like heaven on earth and Feliciano stayed still, transfixed by the change of look behind these ocean eyes darkening like the deep blue sea. "I have to admit, I can’t come to realize that you’re at my place Half… Naked…” his words trailed off and he slowly started moving forward, his eyes almost too serious suddenly and... Scary?! It caused Feliciano to push his back against the headboard as if he wanted to dig a hole there. Intimidated by Ludwig, Feliciano hit the back of his head in the movement but barely flinched as he was too hypnotized and taken aback. He didn’t know how to act when the tables were turned. Something lustful stirred in him as curiosity was at its peak. The latter gulped as Ludwig took control and Feliciano felt weak in the knees in no time.

“wh– What are you doing?” He stuttered as Ludwig’s warm hand on his thigh moved up in ways he had daydreaming of before. The sensation sent a shiver down his spine, and then directly to his crouch. His breathing became uneven when Ludwig was high enough to brush his butt with his fingers and Feliciano felt his temperature rising above the normal.

“I’m giving you a hand.” He answered as he delicately pulled up further the shirt, easing higher his hand underneath to reveal more skin. Feliciano was exposed for a fraction of seconds which permitted Ludwig to see enough to get the image stuck in his head before the Italian covered it back to Ludwig’s inner displeasure.

“Wha— wait!” Feliciano exclaimed, his face burning to the tips of his ears. It took him a lot of self-control to stop Ludwig’s gentle touch before he gets him bewitched. 

“What? Don’t you want it?”

“Si—! I mean NO! I don’t know? maybe... That’s not it!!»

Ludwig blinked at the confusing Italian’s signals. His body language completely sending different indicators than what he advanced. “What…?!”

“I have something I need to tell you. I need you to hear me out. Can we lay down instead?… it’s important...”

“Oh. Of course!...” Nodding, Ludwig seized by Feliciano’s expression the seriousness of the situation. He cleared his voice quietly, erasing any trace of desire from his current state of mind until he was lucid enough to focus on what Feliciano wanted to say. It probably had to do with his strange attitude from earlier, he thought to himself. He was relieved in a way that Feliciano wanted to talk things out after all.

They laid down face to face on the bed, Their heads resting on the pillows, unspoken words and shared stare until Feliciano found the courage to speak out what he avoided the most at the moment.

“I ran away…” he admitted softly, his features changing on his face with discomfort. Ludwig looked at him, carefully analyzing the soft Italian’s traits becoming more defined before him as they twisted in repulse. 

“Why?”

“I had an argument with my brother and… I hate myself so much…” Feliciano’s eyes suddenly spilled hot tears and Ludwig felt something unpleasant twitching in his guts.

“Hey… don’t push yourself.” He reached out to wipe the tear growing on his cheek and the Italian sighed with a sob at the gentle contact.

“No… I have to tell you.” He continued, pressing, in turn, his hand over Ludwig’s warm one and closed his eyes to bear the outcome. “ you will probably hate me. But that’s okay… even though I would really hate if you do.” 

“What happened?” He asked, unsure and apprehensive, almost voiceless.

“I’m…” he paused. “I’m not ok. I messed up…”

“Why are you saying that?”

“I love my family. I really do. But… I can’t keep doing this… living like this…”

“Doing… what?”

“Everything!” Suddenly as he looked up, Feliciano realized how he blurted the word with self frustration. Ludwig’s expression seemed alerted and Feliciano had to lower his eyes to continue. He didn’t like the look there. “My hands are stained. I can’t wash them. It haunts me every night… I often wake up crying because of what I’ve done. It chases me constantly.”

“You…” Ludwig hesitate and paused at the speculation rolling on the tip of his tongue. “…have you killed someone?” the question was soft and controlled but felt extremely heavy as it travelled to Feliciano’s ears. When Ludwig says it, it hits different. It was unpleasant to hear it from his mouth. His heart broke a little and Feliciano’s eyes widened as he trailed them up to catch Ludwig’s worried ones a second time.

“I’m a Vargas…” he simply said, sounding a little surprised that the German even asked in the first place. Him who thought Ludwig suspected it the instant he found out about his family. Wasn’t it obvious enough? Him, who shares the same blood as his grandfather? Wasn’t it the logical answer Ludwig looked for after all? 

“So what? It doesn’t mean anything. You don’t have to follow the same path as your family…” he retorted, sounding somehow outraged by this answer. Feliciano blinked softly as he looked through Ludwig’s eyes in which the blue light of the early bright sky reflected in. They were so blue.

“It’s not that simple… But I wish that it was…”

“I don’t believe you’re a bad person.”

To Feliciano's surprise, hearing Ludwig conveying the perception he has of him helped to heal his heart partially. The emotion rose in him instantly and he had to fight back the tears rushing to spill because he knew nothing could possibly save him fully from his demons. “That’s what I try to convince myself every day... But… You know… sometimes the line gets blurry and It’s easy to lose yourself…I don’t know anymore…» he followed, turning on his back.

“Do they force you?”

“… Not exactly. I was just born into this. They count on me to get what they need. I’m good at getting the information they want and I feel useful that way. I guess it’s my way to feel worthy.”

“But then…”

“I still indirectly contribute to murder people in the end. But.. Even if I’m not the one doing it… even if it’s not the main purpose… It’s inevitable to counter those scenarios when money is involved. And… I feel filthy. I feel guilty… Remorseful… and at the end of the day… I find no satisfaction. No pride at all.” 

Ludwig attentively listened in silence and gazed at Feliciano's watery eyes slowly flooding his eyeballs as he stared at the ceiling. They seemed empty, lost somewhere he wished he could save him from. Ludwig felt helpless suddenly standing in the unknown of Feliciano’s deepest struggles. “And that argument with your brother… what was it about?”

“Oh. Uhm…” Closing his eyes tightly, Feliciano’s mind was spinning in sync with his heartbeat, tears spilling out in the process. He wasn’t ready for this but never will be in all honesty. “I accidentally informed him about Alfred.” He sobbed this time.

There. He said it. And silence buzzed in his ears. He had the impression the world started spinning faster, that the oxygen left the room, leaving him completely dizzy against the weight of the world.

“You—"

“I wanted to take it back!! I messed up so bad, Ludwig. I let slip that information without realizing it. I ended up in an argument with Lovino and now I think he knows something is up with me. He is suspicious of something. I’m scared— “

“Does he knows about… me?” Ludwig asked, his voice abnormally calm. Feliciano could see that inside wasn’t all the same, however.

“no… but at this rhythm, I’m afraid he will find out. I’m so sorry, Ludwig. I never wanted to put you at risk—”

“My brudder knows for us.”

Feliciano started at Ludwig at that with stupefaction, leaving nothing but confusion visiting his states of mind. He sat up on the bed, never removing his eyes off the blond. “Huh?”

“I couldn’t keep up with the lies.” He added as he sat up slowly in turn. Ludwig was rather hard to read at this point and Feliciano hated it. Was he mad, afraid, or uncaring? He couldn’t tell the difference.

“How does it happened?”

“He saw you leaving the police station.”

“Ho…” Feliciano’s voice cracked a bit. His mind running miles as his vision started to blur with his thoughts colliding into millions of pieces. He felt so overwhelmed by everything he barely could keep it all together.

“He started asking questions and I couldn’t hide it any longer. So I had to tell him.»

The Italian peeked up at the tone. Ludwig’s gaze seemed distant but, yet again, Feliciano couldn’t read his expression clearly.

"I know deep down he is horrified at the idea… even though his reaction was pretty collected when he heard the truth. I can tell he won’t always be this flexible with me. It’s just a matter of time. I know...”

“We are in big troubles…” he half mumbled and they both looked at each other.

“You think?” Ludwig said sarcastically with a weak smile and Feliciano felt happy to have caught it before it died.

“What are we gonna do?” He asked, half whispering, Almost too afraid to ask.

“I should inform Alfred right away—”

“It won’t be necessary…”

Ludwig peered at Feliciano intensely, fear rising in him like poison. “ How come?” he interrogated and Feliciano’s expression twisted once again to Ludwig’s strong displeasure.

“Now you know why I didn’t get any sleep.”

“You— you went to him?”

“He is my friend! Well… he was…” the last word was mostly under his breath but Ludwig heard it bouncing back like a slap in the face.

“Why are you using the past tense all of sudden?” he asked, his voice fragile and uneven as worry burned him like a forest fire.

Feliciano sighed with a sob and closed his eyes tightly before opening them. He looked up at Ludwig now standing up by the bed and gave him an apologetic look.

“I’m… per favore, forgive me, Ludwig… but I couldn’t do anything…” Feliciano almost implored Ludwig as he looked at him frozen in place.

“What do you mean?!” he asked, knowing deep down what it meant but still hoped to hear something different nonetheless.

“It was too late…”

“Feliciano!!”

“ I accidentally sold Alfred to the mob. Lovino didn’t stay quiet about it! What else should I’ve done to rectify what was already said? Tell me, Ludwig?! What—"

"I shouldn’t have let you go… "

Feliciano’s heart turned to ice, anxiety burning his scalp as his heart stopped at the unwelcoming words. "Ve?"

"This is all my fault…H he sighed with guilt and sorrow. His throat felt tight and dry, not knowing how to process the horrible news. Feliciano never saw Ludwig this upset before and felt the urge to appease his troubled mind even though he wasn’t fixed himself and didn’t know what to do.

"It’s not! And I never intended to tell anyone!"

"But you did…"

"Please—"

"Don’t touch me!" Ludwig almost hollered, brushing off Feliciano’s touch.

"Please, don’t hate me! You have all the right to be mad at me but please understand my intentions never were to harm any—"

"SHUT UP!!" Ludwig’s strong and loud voice pierced through Feliciano’s heart like a bullet, destabilizing him completely. The silence felt heavily for what seemed like forever before the German continued. "I don’t know why I trusted you. I’ve been so blinded that… because of my mistake a partner has died and you want me to feel sympathy for you!?!"

"It was an accident!"

Ludwig faced some furniture along the wall and opened one drawer."Yeah, well now it’s too late. What is done is done. You’ll have to live with that on your mind for the rest of your life… and so do I." Ludwig closed the drawer delicately, not even turning around, leaving no clues to what he was doing. There was that weird atmosphere floating around and Feliciano’s nerves were on the edge of collapsing. When Ludwig spoke again, his heart broke at the words. "Our road ends here."

The world narrowed around Feliciano, the room that was now filled with early daylight felt all so fake when all he could feel was darkness freezing his body and mind. When Ludwig’s words settled down slowly in him, Feliciano attempted to fight for his feelings once again. "No… wait! Lud—!! "

Without realizing it, Ludwig had approached him when he has been too distracted and grabbed Feliciano by the wrists. The sound of metal against metal resonated in the small room. Hands above his head, he fell flat against the mattress, handcuffed to the headboard, Ludwig on top of him looking all so scary and intimidating. Feliciano gulped.

"This time I won’t let you go." He said before blinding Feliciano with a lamp by his side. The Italian hissed at the sudden source of light burning his irises and shut his eyes by reflex, blinking with difficulty despite the morning light filling the room. At this distance It was making no difference. "Now, Let’s talk. Tell me how you get my address." Interrogated the German firmly.

"I can’t see with that lamp!" Feliciano half complained, struggling with the uncomfortable position he was in.

"That’s fine. You don’t need your eyesight to speak. Now, Answer!" Ludwig ordered, his voice louder with impatience as he leaned closer to put pressure. Feliciano kept his eyes shut this time.

"I followed you!" He admitted with a shaky voice.

"Why? Did someone ask you to? For what purpose?"

"It was for my own personal reasons! I swear!"

"What personal reasons? Can you elaborate?"

"You— you interested me since the first time we met. So I followed you home later that day..." Feliciano felt the lightbulb’s warmth moving away from his face and slowly opened one eye. Then, the two. Despite the light still directed at him, Ludwig had lowered the lamp enough for him to see past it and he could notice how his eyes seemed intrigued by that statement.

"And you spied on me?"

"I didn’t! Well… maybe to some extent. But I didn’t do anything weird! I’m not a creep! You have to believe me! I just planned to meet with you again so I staged our second meeting… and the next one. I needed to know where I could find you. I wanted to see you again…"

"You… you were that eager to see me?" The German voice softened slightly as he asked. Feliciano blinked as he stared at Ludwig slowly giving up on his role. The transition could be cut by a knife.

"Si…" He softly said, hopeful.

"That explains... Ah—! I mean…" Ludwig stopped in his sentence when he caught himself carrying away from the interrogation. That explained why he and Feliciano always bumped into each other. Ludwig always thought it was pure coincidence, slowly the idea of destiny had occurred to him… But in the end, it was only staged? He didn’t know which was better. The fact Feliciano put so much effort to see him or that it wasn’t a coincidence?

"Can you remove the handcuffs, please? I won’t run away, you know?..." The Italian asked politely, unsure of his faith at this point. All he wanted was to stay on firm foot with Ludwig. He was ready to keep fighting for that. Feliciano wasn’t the most robust person in the world but he was persistent when he wanted to.

The German looked down to catch the other’s eyes with an apologetic expression betraying his authority. His heart wasn’t following but Ludwig had to be strong and do his duty as he should. "It’s pay time." he said, too breathy. Feliciano’s heart shattered a little. The heartbreaking atmosphere heavy in the room, hard to breathe.

"What are you going to do with me?" He practically gasped, alarmed as he followed Ludwig with his eyes aiming for the door.

"I don’t know… yet," Ludwig admitted, coming at a halt by the end of the bed. Feliciano could only see his back but he could feel Ludwig struggling as he saw him clenching his fists. "My head just wants to explode!!" He growled, tiredness darkening his pitch as he let himself fall to sit at the foot of the bed, crouched. Feliciano’s expression softened with attention, his heartbroken as he thought of Alfred.

"I didn’t think twice when I left his place." He pierced the silence. Ludwig listened, not daring to look at him at all. "I warned him about the situation and I deserted his house before they could see me. I wished I could still make a difference. But I knew it was too late when I heard the shots ringing out in the distance." Feliciano closed his eyes tightly as the fresh sensorial memory came back to him like trauma. His blood icing, his eyes tearing up once more. "I hoped I could save at least one single life for once…"

Ludwig's brows rose at that. He didn’t move but Feliciano knew he was listening so he continued. "After that… I ran to you. It took me a moment to make my mind. I was crying so much… I wanted to look as normal as possible so you wouldn’t get suspicious of anything. It’s not that I wanted to hide it from you but… I wanted to forget for an instant. I wanted to be in your arms and feel like I worth something. I’m sorry. I’m selfish. All I do is causing more troubles around me…"

"That’s… ridiculous…" Ludwig eventually said. Feliciano nearly gasped, not sure at which part of his story it was aimed at. "I can’t do my job properly… Can you believe this? All because of you. I’m so pathetic…" And then, he understood. 

"You’re not!" He retorted and Ludwig finally glanced over. 

"What were you thinking coming here with that information?" He asked, his eyebrows joining together with sadness and frustration, yet his traits were still soft despite the disappointment. Feliciano looked up at the ceiling, lying on the bed, thinking about the question.

"I… Didn’t think much. I needed some peace of mind after what happened. I thought that I could hide here for a little while."

"And was taking advantage of me was part of your plan too?"

At that, Feliciano attempted to sit as best as he could on the bed but his handcuffed wrists were not allowing him pretty well. The clanking sound resonated as he battled with it.

"No!! I just—"

"I found you especially bold tonight… But I didn’t wonder because you are usually touchy. You thought it was your last time with me, isn’t it? You knew things would end between us if you told me so you attempted to get what you wanted before telling me. Am I wrong?"

"No!! It’s not like that! It wasn’t my intention! I came here to see you because… when we’re together... I’m happy." The last words were almost shy on his tongue as he lowered his eyes. "It’s true that I tried to get closer to you… and I told you the truth!!"

"You’re right… but it’s still pretty hard to digest."

"I’m sorry…" He half murmured with sincere remorses, eyes filled with sorrow as Ludwig peeked. The latter sighed through his nose. Evaluating the situation, Ludwig couldn’t believe how in trouble he was. He knew from the moment Feliciano entered his life that somehow things wouldn’t be the same. Something changed in him as this troublesome guy appeared. Ludwig’s thoughts drifted somewhere in the past, aching memories resurfacing. He hated it.

"Must be my luck..." He expressed, a hand wiping across his face.

"Uh?"

"People I love always leave me. It’s always the same. It’s not like I didn’t see it coming this time. It was quite predictable. But It still hurts like hell …"

"But I don’t want to leave!" Feliciano rushed the words as his voice begged to be heard.

"You’ll have to eventually…" Ludwig caught amber eyes while he reasoned, dimming their brightness as he saw them twisting with sadness.

"I want to stay with you… I don’t care about the rest!"

"You think you can hide here forever? Running away won’t change anything, Feliciano. Sooner or later reality will catch you… and you’ll have to realize that we can’t be together…"

"Don’t say that…" He almost implored, his voice cracking under the heavy feeling suffocating him. Feliciano always ran away from that reality. He had chosen to listen to his heart and moved blindly in that direction since he met Ludwig. Hearing him say this was the last thing he wanted.

"It’s the harsh truth and you know it. we will probably create more chaos than good if we keep seeing each other. Look what happened—"

"But I love you!"

Ludwig’s heart stopped in his chest at the honest declaration. He felt happy but cleared his thoughts, fighting against the urge to held Feliciano in his arms tightly. The sound of his voice flying freely into his mind, caressing softly his beating heart. He wanted to reach him. He wanted to. "You’re not helping—"

"Do you love me too?" Feliciano cut him short once again. Desperate to hear it back, not wanting to lose it all. All the development they made to make it here couldn’t be a waste. It couldn’t…

"It’s enough…" Ludwig sighed, broken inside. It was already hard for him. Hearing those words ached more than anything. He loved him too, he knew but saying it out loud at this point would only leave deepest burns. He wanted to swallow the pain but couldn’t. He slowly got up, his feet felt heavy as he headed toward the door.

"Don’t leave me!"

Ludwig stopped in front of the door, his hand on the handle and leaned his forehead against the flat surface as he closed his eyes tightly. It was hard. He didn’t know what to do. He honestly couldn’t proceed with his thoughts. They were directed in every direction. "What do you want from me?" he asked.

"I don’t care if we just sit here doing nothing. I just want to be by your side… please stay…" Feliciano’s voice turned into a pleading, so fragile and broken.

"I don’t know what to say…" Answered Ludwig, mumbling. His chest felt so tight he thought he would break into pieces.

_"With love’s light wings did I o’erperch these walls,_

_For stony limits cannot hold love out,_

_And what love can do, that dares love attempt. Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me."_

Ludwig’s attention peaked up. Slowly pushing himself off the door, he looked curiously over his shoulder. "What was that?" he asked, rather confused by the unexpected dialect.

"Have you never read Romeo and Juliet?"

"Once in high school?… But it was in German and… why are you citing that now in all-time!?"

"I just thought it was fitting. Don’t you think so?" Feliciano smiled softly, sadness still presents in his eyes but somehow he managed to wear some sort of joy and Ludwig envied this faculty. "I used to live in Verona in my teen years. Beautiful city..." He added as he looked out the window, his eyes seemed to see something beautiful, somewhere Ludwig couldn’t see. The sun shined into the room, brightening up the soft features of Feliciano as it brushed gently his face. Ludwig couldn’t look away.

"I’ve never been there. But I read about it..."

"Since when are you here in Italy?" Feliciano asked, still looking away.

"Almost 2 years from now."

Nodding delicately, Feliciano’s eyes eventually trailed in Ludwig’s direction. Their eyes locked. «Do you miss Germany sometimes?»

"It’s not like I never go back. The rest of my family still lives there. But… if I and my brudder decided to come to Italy was actually all part of an old promise we made."

"Oh?"

Ludwig glanced at Feliciano’s apparent interest in the story and couldn’t help but go on. "We were young at the time. I remember we picked a country randomly on the globe and that was it. Italy. We challenged ourselves to do something without thinking and we promised to end our studies and leave for the unknown or something along the lines." Pausing, Ludwig smiled softly as he remembered those days. Feliciano captured it. "It all started as a joke but I guess we were both too stubborn to let go of that idea as we grew older. So, we kept it in the back of our minds all along. I still don’t know what got through us back then." Ludwig leaned back against the door and crossed his arms as he went on. "My brudder graduated a few years before I did and moved to Italy all by himself. He and I always have been pretty close so his departure motivated me to do the same. It was a mess to deal with the papers and learn the basics of the language let me tell you but… here we are now. I think I fell for the place before realizing it."

Feliciano stayed silent the whole time but deep inside, he was interested in hearing more about Ludwig’s past and youth. He wanted to know everything. "It’s destiny!" He expressed and Ludwig stared, eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Uh?"

"If you didn’t keep that promise we would have never met. I’m glad you did."

Feliciano’s eyes were filled with sincere affection. Ludwig’s chest bloomed with warmth when the Italian offered him the purest smile. At this instant, he came to the conclusion that Feliciano couldn’t possibly be from this world. He was something else.

"I admire your optimism and I think you’re very brave to keep believing in such happy days but I can’t see this story ends well no matter how I look at it. We don’t belong…"

"Run with me!"

"To go where? I don’t wanna hide for the rest of my life…"

"We’ll find a way!"

Ludwig’s expression saddened. If only he could believe in such things. "The solution is to stop seeing each other." He recognized.

Feliciano’s mood shifted as the words crushed his hopes, a frown apparent. This time he appeared somehow angry. An emotion Ludwig wasn’t familiar seeing on the Italian. "I thought you were made stronger than this, Ludwig." He grumbled and hearing him saying it toyed with Ludwig’s pride.

"That’s not— look! It’s not that I don’t want to be with you. But you have to admit that we’re playing with fire!" Stepping toward the bed as he spoke, Ludwig sat back on the bed near Feliciano, casting a shadow over him as he blocked the sunlight.

"I could die for you."

"What?"

"I could die for you. And… Probably will." There was a silence in the room. Ludwig’s eyes widened at the allusion. He never thought of the possibility, never under this angle, but now that the subject was in plain light, he realized that Feliciano was right. After all, he opened up to him. He had started breaking the Omertà. "I’m risking my life for you. You must think I’m being ridiculous. Perhaps I’m crazy. But my feelings, them, are true. I guess it’s not the same for you..." Feliciano added, not daring to look at Ludwig.

"That’s… untrue…" He half murmured.

"Really? Because it seems to me that—" Feliciano stopped as his eyes caught the broken look on Ludwig. The Italian’s expression distorted gradually until all the tension washed away from his face. 

"Feli… If it was only me… things would have been much easier and I wouldn’t be there restraining myself so much. And… not to mention you almost got me this time…" He said with a lump in his throat, letting escaping a weak laugh at the last point. 

"Forgive me…"

"As long as you understand—"

"But I think it’s worth it."

Ludwig’s eyes fell back on him with bewilderment. "Feli…" He almost whispered, capturing all the resolution in the Italian’s voice. 

"Falling in love shouldn’t be a crime!"

Ludwig blinked, his mouth slightly agape as he looked Feliciano in the eye. That’s exactly the thought that had occurred to him last night. At this instant, he couldn’t deny how he felt connected to Feliciano.

"You could do whatever you want with me. I don’t care. but please, don’t waste the time we have together…"

Pleading through his eyes, Feliciano was slowly surrendering to whatever his faith would be. It was too late now anyway. There was nowhere safe for him to go anymore no matter what he decided. The only thing he could be sure of, at this point, was his feelings for Ludwig and it was one of the few things that bring a minimum of sense to his existence. He has never felt more alive.

"But…"

"Please..." Feliciano murmured as his last resort.

Closing his eyes, Ludwig sighed painfully. Defeated. His whole body slowly suppressing the build-up tension as he eventually leaned over Feliciano who was half lying on the bed with his tied hands upon his head grabbing the headboard’s bar. The latter almost gasped as Ludwig dived into his eyes with such tender ones. He could feel his hot breath on his lips and somehow he wished to break the small gap left.

"Tell me your trick…" Ludwig said softly, searching for an explanation.

"What do you mean?" He breathed, gulping nervously.

"You have power over me and it’s scaring me."

"I don’t know…" Feliciano barely chuckled, too captivated by the beauty of Ludwig’s eyes gleaming for him. "I’m only myself around you. I play no cards. I swear..." He added.

"You’re beautiful..." Ludwig followed, never breaking the contact once. Feliciano blushed.

"Yeah?"

"Ja…" Lowering his stare, he stopped at his lips. "And… dangerous…in your way…" He added with a weak breathy laugh and they locked eyes again.

"Am I?" Asked the Italian curiously with doubt.

"Well… for disarming me this easily I consider you at the least dangerous. And you don’t even seems to try. You’re a natural. It’s unsettling."

"I wonder about that…"

"I’m not this conciliatory with everybody you know?"

"Does it means I’m privileged?" He asked tunefully.

Ludwig snorted with a warm smile. A rare one Feliciano wanted to capture in photo. "…I supposed." he answered him.

"I’m honoured." Feliciano admitted with sincerity, taking Ludwig’s breath away as the sun goldened his sparkling eyes.

"What does it makes me?” Ludwig questioned quietly, making the other blinking in confusion. 

"Uh?”

“To be in love with you… what does it make me?"

Feliciano thought about the question not really knowing what to say and if there was even a good answer to that. He never enjoyed putting etiquettes on things because he never fitted much under any. He preferred being himself and stick with it freely. "My partner in crime?" he proposed as a joke and Ludwig’s stare deepened with certain concerns at the sound.

"That’s…"

"Does it matters?" he intervened before Ludwig’s mind could venture in places he didn’t have to overthink.

"I’m disgracing so many things… for you…"

"It makes us even, then." Feliciano responded, his voice so soft like air. Ludwig had to admit that it was true. They were from different sides of the battlefield but somehow they met in the middle and stopped to fight before they knew it. "And what if it’s the right thing to do?" He added.

"Whatever it is… you make it looks appealing and bright... I don’t understand how you’re doing…" Whispering, Ludwig shook his head slightly in wonderment.

They were so close. Something stroked Feliciano from the inside, warming him gently with desire. He wanted to touch him. "Can you remove the handcuffs, please? I can’t stand it."

Ludwig blinked a little at that until his lips started to form a small smirk. "Must be hard… for you. Not being able to move for a few minutes." he said while backing off until he was in a sitting position, quite amused and Feliciano couldn’t believe it.

"Luddy, you sadist! Are you enjoying this?" He interrogated with shock.

"How the tables have turned… how does it feel"

"Please remove them!"

"I can’t let you go, Feli." Ludwig eventually explained. The small smile dissipated gradually as he looked outside the window facing him. His blond hair shining like gold against the sunlight. The Italian bitten his lower lips as he contemplated Ludwig, his thoughts running wild and free in his mind.

"I have a suggestion." He started with conviction.

"…what is—?!"

Unwarning, Feliciano wrapped his legs around Ludwig’s middle and pulled him forward to unbalance him. His movements were quick and controlled as he locked him over himself. Ludwig flushed red at the surprise attack, his chest falling and rising as he dived in those familiar amber eyes. "Can we continue where we left…?" The Italian proposed, a dangerous tempting look in the eyes. Ludwig gulped with awareness.

"Oh. Are— aren’t you tired? You haven’t slept at all and— you—!" Ludwig stopped abruptly when Feliciano’s shirt dropped delicately up his abdomen due to the angle. He shivered at the welcoming position and trailed his darkening eyes back up to the other’s ones.

"Kiss me…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh! I forgot to mention! I have a few songs that go along well with the story. If you’re curious you can listen to them :)
> 
> 1\. Lonely by Nathan Wagner (Which reminds me of Feli POV)  
> 2.Don’t Forget me by Nathan Wagner (Which is a mix between Feli and Luddy depending of the verses)
> 
> Nathan Wagner just gives the perfect vibe. It adds another dimension to it. ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued...


End file.
